Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: life, Time

Saturday, 29 September 2012

image for Last Fourteen Years 'Just A Dream' Say Scientists
The Correct Time And Date Is 1998

United Nations-- A group of scientists addressed the United Nations today, with some stunning news for everyone on the planet. It seems the last fourteen years never really happened--it was all a dream. Everyone on Earth has been hallucinating. It's still 1998.

Scientists told the UN that Earth was hit by a very powerful solar flare on June 22, 1998. The flare knocked everyone unconscious and then everyone began having the same dream (or nightmare). Famed astronomer Dr. Karl Saygun gave a few remarks to the press:

"September 11th never happened. Neither G. W Bush nor Barack Obama ever became the president. The Panic of '08 is complete fiction." said Dr. Saygun.

When the shock of the solar flare wears off, people will wake up and see that it's 06/22/98 at about 1:28PM EDT.

"If you are reading this then you are still hallucinating." cautioned Dr. Saygun. "But don't worry, you should wake up in a few more of your 'days'." he advised.

A bittersweet time is expected for everyone once they awaken, according to Dr. Saygun.

"The people you have lost in the last fourteen years never died. The new people you met never existed." he sadly said.

"Soon we will all be fourteen years younger and we will have the chance to do things right this time." said Dr. Saygun. "Let's not screw it up this time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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