Unknown scientist Zee Idiot Jr. has claimed that the sky is made of wood.
"There's fifteen inches of carpeting above it to protect it from rain," he said in a statement last night when interviewed at his underground solid steel lab.
More intelligent scientists have been building large extendable ladders to bring back samples of the sky, but they can't find anything beyond the Statue of Liberty to lean them on.
"We can't disprove Mr. Idiot until we can bring back a sample of the sky," said scientist Mere Intelligent.
Several reporters are now asking why airplane pilots have never crashed into the sky.
"The wood is only the roof of the sky," says Mr. Idiot. "We're enclosed in it, but pilots never fly up that high. And as for rockets? It's auto-repairing wood, so it repairs every time a rocket smashes through it!"
A Meeting of Scientists was held at the Zee Idiot Sr. Memorial Conference Room - made in honour of Zee Idiot Jr's father, who claimed that the centre of the world was powered by glass - to discuss this claim.
The King of Scientists said that "I suggest that once we have a sample of non-wood sky, we purchase Mr. Zee a new suit…one with sleeves that button up at the back."
When people were confused as to why the King would want to buy Zee such a strange suit that was very hard to do up, he explained that the revelation that the sky was NOT made of wood but rather clouds and birds would prove that Zee was both wrong and insane and he would be sent to a madhouse. Mind you, such a claim with no solid proof already makes him mad, in this reporter's opinion. I thought the guy was dead anyway?
While the race is on to build a massive support for a massive ladder, Mr. Idiot is writing a new book titled Sky, Science and Wood. The book is 300 pages long with 56 chapters and will be published in September assuming that this giant ladder hasn't reached the sky by then and it's been proven that it's made of blue stuff, in which case he'll be too locked up to publish a book. Stay with the Spoof for more information!