Space shuttle Discovery, LAUNCHED successfully at 1:39 CST, July 4th, will, according to some NASA sources successfully EXPLODE into a billion and one pieces .. IN orbit .. July 7th, somewhere over Texas providing Texans with the most spectacular 7th of July spectacle since Fort Worth's Tumble-Weed festival went KA-BLOO-IE back in 1915. July 7th ..
President Bush, former Texan, future ex-president said,
"I sure hope the shuttle doesn't go postal but if it does hopefully NASA put blue sparklers and some of them roman candles in the shuttle's engines it being the 7th of July and all."
Few Americans "Comprende" the significance of July 7th, 1776 when, just 3 days after America's freedom fighters secured America's freedom, President George "W" Washington, partying a little TOO hardily blew the living H-WORD out ot his home (Mount Vernon) after, rumor has it accidentally dropping a lit British cigar into the Spigot-Valve of his Mount Vernon secret Vodka still.
NASA re-assured Texans (and Americans as well) saying,
"NO way Discovery can explode. Unless it gets hit by a piece of foam. Or, any particle larger than a good sized Chicklet ..OR, somebody on-board sneezes who knows."
Space Shuttle "Bubba", now under construction in Taiwan will, according to NASA , replace Space Shuttle Discovery after Discovery goes out in an explosive (but quite colorful according to Soledad O'Brien) blaze of pure patriotic red, white and BLOOIE glory ... July 7th.
Details are sketchy but the new revamped Space Shuttle Bubba will not only have an on-board sushi bar, a 12 hole SUPER-miniature Putt Putt golf course, a retro 70's lava lamp room complete with space bong but more importantly a micro-mini certified Southern Baptist Church-let in the shuttle's cargo bay.
One future Space Shuttle Bubba commander now in training when asked why an actual miniature Southern Baptist CHURCH-LET was needed on an orbiting space shuttle replied,
"That's so we can say our last goodbyes to God AND all the angels, Moses too before plummeting at 13,000 miles per hour into the Pacific Ocean should a stray bit of foam hit us. The new shuttle Bubba they say has actual FOAM alarms built in. Don't quote me on that because I've not even SEEN Bubba yet but rumor also has it .. Bubba has an on-board virtual space brothel don't quote me on that one either but, heh."