Houston, TX-- NASA scientists have just confirmed their worst fears--a black hole is heading towards Earth and will destroy it on Tuesday. NASA has alerted both the president and the United Nations, but it appears nothing can be done to stop the impending calamity.
"That's it folks, it's all over." said a grim-faced Dr. Karl Saygun. The NASA head honcho gave the news to reporters.
"By this time on Tuesday, the earth will be sucked into a black hole. Our planet will be the same size as the period at the end of this sentence." he said.
When reporters asked Dr. Saygun what people can do, the famous astronomer gave some good advice.
'Try to wear lots of deodorant on Tuesday." he suggested. Everybody on Earth will be closerthanthis after we get sucked into the black hole. It's important to smell nice." he stated.
Many Americans seemed happy the cosmic catastrophe was coming on Tuesday.
"Well." said Cathy Dumm, a blond-haired airhead. "Once the earth is a tiny dot, won't it mean a shorter drive to work??"