Written by IainB
Print this

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

image for Creationism exam has record pass rate
You don't need to think that hard

Creationists are crowing that their faith based schools have the highest exam pass rate of any school in the world, with all of their pupils attaining the maximum one hundred percent in all of their papers, including science.

"This is a true example of how beneficial faith based schools are for children," said Faith Divinity, one of the nuns who runs a Cheltenham-based Creationism school in Cheltenham.

During the exams, children are allowed to pray for divine inspiration in answering the questions, which the Creationism movement have put down as the reason for the one hundred percent of one hundred percent passes.

Detractors, including the Right Honourable Michael Gove MP, the Minister for Eduction, believe that the exam papers were too easy.

"We got hold of the science paper," said Gove. "Without any tuition at all, I could have passed with one hundred percent."

Gove gave some examples of the multiple choice paper.

"The first question is 'How did the universe begin?'" he said, "It has the following answers: A) God did it. Another question is 'How was humanity formed?' with the following answers available: A) God did it."

Gove read out several more examples, such as how does magnetism work? What is electricity? And Explain the diversity of life on Planet Earth.

"The 'multiple choice' answers are all just one option 'God'," said Gove. "We do not believe that this exam has any merit."

The Creationist movement has defended the exams on faith grounds, stating that the only answer any of their members will ever need in life is God, and the exams reflect this.

"Barmy," said Gove. "Utterly Barmy."

Make IainB's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 5?

2 25 15 9
51 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more