Written by IainB
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Thursday, 19 July 2012

image for Intelligent Design Adherent sues the Intelligent Designer
Who designed these effin great weights for my head? Muppet

Karl Mankini of Rotterdam has begun a legal action against his own religion for what he perceives to be basic design flaws.

Mankini is a member of the Intelligent Design Cult that believes that all living things were designed to look like they look right now. As ridiculous as that sounds, this religion now has millions of believers world wide. Almost as many, in fact, as those who still believe in the Roman Pantheon.

"Iv'e begun to notice some major design flaws in my body," said Mankini, who does not know the correct positioning for an apostrophe. "I mean really major flaws. Like, having the oesophagus behind the trachea. That's just madness. Putting them the other way around would have saved millions of lives from strangulation and choking on articles of food! Whoever came up with that design needs suing."

Makini is also citing the lack of back up for vital organs, such as the heart, spleen and Steinway.

"If your'e going to put time and effort into designing something, why not put in some basic anti-virus? All those viruses were designed as well, so the Designer knows what they are. Im' suffering from meningitis, so there's another flaw right there. And when my wife gave birth, she realised that a far better design would have involved a zip, or some Velcro at least. And that's just humans. Th'eres probably design flaws in all living things. Those antlers on elk, for a start. I mean, come on."

Currently, legislators in Rotterdam are attempting to locate the Intelligent Designer in an effort to serve a subpoena.

"So far without success," admitted Mankini. "It would have been handy, after h'ed finished designing all this stuff, that he would have left some contact details and a guarantee. No faith in his own design, tha'ts what I think, and to be honest, what with all the design flaws, Im' not surprised. I'd have done a runner too."

Makini is hoping that other dissatisfied members of his church will join him in a class action.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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