New York, NY--Going on Facebook is becoming a sex act for many adults. About 10% of the population has had a spontaneous orgasm while viewing the popular social website. Psychiatrists aren't sure why, but think it may have something to do with how the brain is wired.
Miss Vicky Smegma is one person who uses Facebook every day. The lonely spinster had the first orgasm of her life last week while on Facebook.
"I was looking at some photos that my cousin took while visiting Holland." explained Miss Smegma. "Suddenly, my heart began racing and my skin started sweating! I didn't know what was happening so I called 911!" said the 87 year-old virgin.
The paramedics arrived and told Miss Smegma that she was simply having an orgasm. They also advised her to seek professional help.
"My psychiatrist told me the social part of the brain is right next door to the sexual side of the brain." explained Miss Smegma. "If the social part of the brain becomes too excited, it spills over to the sexual side and triggers an orgasm."
Social outcasts and lonely spinsters aren't the only people having spontaneous orgasms while on Facebook. Even sexually experienced people are having them.
"I had the best orgasm of my life!" laughed Suzy LaWhore. The retired sex worker also frequents Facebook every single day.
"I had wave after wave of multiple orgasms on Facebook last night! I was reading some drivel a Facebook friend wrote about getting a tattoo when it started happening. I hope it happens again!" smiled the retired hooker.
Curiously, no male has ever admitted to a Facebook orgasm.
"Guys just won't say anything, it's too embarrassing." said pop psychiatrist Dr. Phil. "I'm sure it's happening all the time." he snickered.
When Facebook founder Mark Suckerberger was told about people having spontaneous orgasms while on Facebook, he came up with a brilliant idea.
"Maybe I should start charging people money to go on Facebook." he laughed.