Written by El Presidente
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Tuesday, 26 June 2012

A brand new weight loss system that will guarantee at least 50 % body weight loss is to be made available on a prescription basis at a cut rate price, some saying the single shot could cost as little as $9.99, however Doctors have warned that side effects could be "uncomfortable".

The untested formula, which will come as an injection, contains a strain of the flesh eating bacteria necrotizing fasciitis, which destroys body tissues.

It is hoped that this bacteria will destroy unwanted body tissue and eat away at fat people's flesh.


Doctor's have pointed out that should the new formula not be readily tested then side effects could lead to amputations, which though would reduce a patients weight, would not be desirable.

The danger though has not deterred some habitual fatties.

Selena Lard, 45, who suffers from Greed, said, If it means I can eat what I want, not exercise, lose weight and then maybe find a boyfriend then I will live with the danger."

The first batch of the medicine will be given to volunteers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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