Written by IainB
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Friday, 22 June 2012

image for Do people not know you're joking? There's an app for that
With the touch of a finger, you get a bright and shiney smiley

My Way Apps have released an app that is set to take the Frivolous App Market by storm, iWink.

"This is fantastic," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "For years I have suffered with people not realising I'm being sarcastic or joking. My cutting wit has gone unappreciated. No longer. With iWink, I can instantly show people that I'm pulling their leg when I call them a corpulent beached whale."

The iWink Applelet runs on all versions of iPhone and iPad, and has a relatively simple concept. It displays a smiley.

"Email and IM is brilliant," said Buck. "If I want to tell people I'm confused, I stick in the emoticon for confused. Everybody then knows. If I say something nasty and want to take the sting out of it, I do a colon P and everybody's happy, the situation is defused."

Unfortunately for Buck, the same cannot be said for when he's talking. Until now.

"Now when I'm talking to somebody, I can bring up the app, and it shows a big colon P that I can hold up next to my head after I've finished talking. That way they know I'm talking tongue in cheek. Or I can add a winking smiley, and they know I'm being sarcastic. It's ace! Colon D."

Of all the people who have been downloading the app, perhaps the most surprising is Stephen Hawking, who has augmented his speech synthesiser with the app, so he merely needs to look at the list of smileys, and the big iPad behind his head shows a toothy grin, or a cross-eyed dazed emoticon.

"I'm led to believe," said Buck, "that this has improved his communication immensely. Who said frivolous apps cannot change the world? He'll be using iFart next!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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