Idiots worldwide are today celebrating the latest stupid theory involving the myth of evolution.
According to Professor Michael Coates, a biologist at the University of Chicago, the human lineage can be traced back to a primitive fish named Acanthodes bronni, the common ancestor of all jawed vertebrates on Earth. In effect, before you were a hairy ape, you were a shark like boney fish.
Although the ink is still wet regarding the last evolution fabrication, this is sure to please the millions of evolution buffs, who marvel at what their guru's claim that their ancestors once were.
One such guru of the evolution cult is fundamentalist atheist, childrens author and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins. We tried to contact him to capture his reaction to this surprising find, but fortunately he was out.
Instead we contacted out trusty genuine science correspondent. "Atheists used to mock religious types for claiming 'God did it' as being mentally deficient. Now, in an odd turn of events it seems acceptable to say 'evolution did it!' Of course, there is no empirical evidence that humans were ever anything other than humans, or sharks anything other than sharks. It is one thing for corrupt media machines to print any old propaganda given to them, it is quite another to prove any of it to be true. I pity the fools who believe such nonsense". He then went to his A-Team convention.