Written by Gary Potter
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Sunday, 3 June 2012

image for Cern decide that the 'God' particle will be found by end of year
Money pit - CERN

'Scientists' from CERN have decided that they will have found proof of the so called 'God' particle by the end of the year. Just before the money pit closes for refurbishment.

The Higgs boson, which has absolutely nothing to do with religion, was named the 'God' particle in an attempt to fool people into thinking that the secrets of the universe had been solved by science.

The whereabouts of the Higgs boson are thought to be hiding, along with a significant amount of 'dark' matter.

Scam artists under the guise of science are currently planning the next collider. It is planned to run the entire circumference of the Earth, with a projected cost of £999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999. It is hoped to be running by 2013. The aim of this latest collider is to send particles around and prove that moving particles produce universal physical laws such as gravity, and dimensions such as space and time.

They have decided that they will prove their theories by 2014.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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