After years of investigation and millions of dollars in government grants, an age old question has been answered using in depth probing that science has become so expert at.
Professor Ima Schmitor, PHD, MAD, SOB, Dean of Snooker University, Chairman of the IILKP [Institute for Investigation of Lessor Known Phenomenon], President of FECAL Matters [Friends Engaged in Correcting All Life], and Chief of Research at Schmitor Research Labs has announced a breakthrough in biological studies of aviary procreation.
Professor Schmitor is widely known for bringing the danger of wax lips to the public's attention and his revealing expose' of licorice twists being twisted in the wrong direction.
With years of hands on chicken plucking and close examination, the problem of which came first, the chicken or the egg has finally been solved. Using close up observation, it has been concluded beyond any doubt that the rooster came first. Both he and the rooster were extremely excited about the findings. Some, attending the announcement had a difficult time figuring out which was more excited, the rooster or Schmitor..
This has not ended yet, Professor Schmitor is now looking for government financing to support his investigations into where the rooster comes from.
His statement that "I will not give up until this problem is answered" has given hope to the scientific community and the population at large even though he has said the same thing about each of his projects.
Congresswoman Pelosi stood before the joint session of Congress and stated that she would be frank, "We need more people like Professor Schmitor to bring society into accordance and direct the populace in a conducive position to accept the world as we see fit.." She added "I will stand behind Professor Schmitor all the way, you will know what he does after he does it"