Written by IainB
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Thursday, 19 April 2012

image for People who moisturise advised to use both hands
I like my fingertips rough and calloused. I bet your hands have never swabbed the deck on a sinking ship!

Doctor and Gambol, the UK's largest manufacturer of non-edible creams, have announced the results of a study into moisturising that has come up with some remarkable conclusions.

"We discovered that people tend to moisturise using just their writing hand," said Doctor Proctor, who ran the study on behalf of D&G. "This is having an effect on the softness of the fingertips on just one hand."

Doctor and Gambol have suggested that people use both hands to moisturise, allowing both hands to develop soft fingertips.

"It is still mainly women who moisturise," said Proctor. "Despite all our efforts to make male moisturising more common, and doubling our market. For some reason, men don't want to feel silky smooth with pliant, supple skin."

According to Proctor, the directive to moisturise using both hands has therefore been tailored to their female audience. They have adapted the leaflets with their moisturising range to highlight the benefit of having sensitive finger tips. One customer, Mavis Davies believes that the study and the changes to their literature has been a waste of time.

"I don't know about anybody else," she said, "but I also moisturise my hands as well. Doctor and Gambol have an excellent range of hand moisturisers, so you would have thought that they knew people moisturised hands. I also use Fairy Liquid when I do the dishes. I have the softest fingertips of any known human."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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