Written by Chrissy Benson
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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

image for Science Reports Good News and Bad News About Meaning of Life
The good news: the keys to ALL of life's mysteries are located in the same place; the bad news: science has NO idea where.

Are you a spiritual seeker? Hundreds of Americans reportedly are. For instance, for his whole life, Josh Carlton of New York City has been trying to find love. Stephanie Lambert of San Francisco wants to find the meaning of life. For Leigh Shields of Tulsa, the quest is more personal; Leigh's trying to find herself. And Viveck Shah of Tucson is trying to find God.

For these and other spiritual seekers, science has some good news, and some bad news. The good news: through the use of quantum mechanics, magnetic resonance testing and statistical calculations, it's been determined that ALL of these things - including joy, peace, hope, professional fulfillment, love, yourself, God, the keys to unlocking life's eternal mysteries, your lost keys, even your lost passport - are located in the same place. In other words, you find one, you find them all.

The not-so-good news: scientists are no closer to determining that location than they were before the dawn of civilization. But rest assured, they're not going to stop trying. And neither should you!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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