Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 14 April 2012

image for Penguin Crap Justifies Space Programme!
As used by the American Bald Eagle.

Ever since NASA raced to put men in the moon, critics have been questioning the need for the space programme.

No longer!

Space boffins have finally silenced the nay-sayers by using satellite technology to find where penguins go to relieve themselves!

"This has been such a terrific breakthrough," said Dr Neville Posidrive at the British Antarctic Survey. "It's easy to see where all the Emperor Penguins are... they hang around together in those huge colonies.

"But finding where they go to the toilet has always been a problem. Then some bright spark - I think it was Wally Biscuit, in the canteen one day - suggested that if we got a satellite to look for big brown piles on the white ice we would know where they went for a crap."

Dr Posidrive added that a useful side product of finding the penguin loos was being able to count the birds. "Some people want to know how many there are - dunno why. But there you go... some people are just odd."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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