Written by IainB
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Monday, 9 April 2012

image for Vampire Dating Site a Fangtastic Success
Hearts pump blood....mmm...lovely blood.

Dating sites have had to compete in an ever more niche market area. Ads for mature dating, single parent dating, uniformed dating and illiterate darting have flooded the internet ad-sphere in recent weeks.

One site has announced amazing growth in the fortnight that it has been open: Vampire Dating.

"Our premise is simple," said Gabriella Van Helsing, who set up the site. "Vampires struggle to meet each other in these turbulent times. We bridge that gap."

Offering intimate late night meet-ups and vetting all of its vampires for blood transmissible diseases, Vampire Dating gives vampires looking for love all the tools they need to find 'the one'.

"Robert Pattinson has agreed to be the face of Vampire Dating," said Van Helsing. "Although he's not actually a vampire, he is the most recognisable vampire on the planet. More people know of him than of Count Dracula."

A few different names were tossed about before settling on the simple Vampire Dating name, including Twilight Love, Suck-Cess and Love at First Bite.

"We felt that keeping it simple was key," said Van Helsing. "And given that we have had a faster take-up than any of the other niche dating sites, I would say that we got it right. Even though it has the word 'day' in it, it's been remarkably successful."

Despite only being in operation for two weeks, Vampire Dating is already celebrating its first wedding, which will take place at Coventry Cathedral's graveyard at midnight tomorrow.

Van Helsing denies that she is carrying on where her grandfather, Gabriel Van Helsing left off.

"What's done is done," she said. "I hunt vampires looking for love. For those tired of hunting virgin necks alone. I am absolutely not using the internet to gather as many vampires in one place so I can rid the world of the blood sucking parasites."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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