Written by French Marilyn
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Sunday, 1 April 2012

image for French scientists: Heterosexual houseflies pair up and remain faithful
What you always wanted to know about a fly

A team of scientists at France's Lyons University has found that houseflies, just like humans, fall in love and live in twosomes.

Unlike humans though who often remarry after the death of a spouse, houseflies find the loss of a partner so immense that they commit suicide.

"We have a lot to learn about morals from that detested little Diptera insect," said the team's spokesperson.

The team has been studying houseflies now for a dozen years.

They learned that houseflies go through an extended courting period of flapping of their wings and rotation of their antennae. It is also not unusual that the male fly may during this period of courting blow himself up to twice his normal size which the scientists liken to a young man flexing his muscles on a beach to win the attention of a girl.

The two houseflies will then "get married".

The ceremony usually takes place on a dung or rubbish heap with all the flies in the vicinity gathering around the bridal pair,all enjoying the feast of "crap".

Once the wedding's over,the two flies will not leave one another's side again.

Flying side by side the two will seek food which the female will then prepare for the male by wetting it with her saliva. After eating, the male fly will enjoy a few moments of sleeping while the female fly is joined by other female flies which have not yet paired with a male and therefore have time to spare. On waking the male fly will again flap his wings and rotate his antennae to signal to the female fly that he wants a cuddle.

According to the scientists on the death of one of the spouses, the other, its heart broken, begins to seek ways to kill itself. It will switch off its all-round vision, and blind, it will smash into a wall or door, or it will land on someone's nose which from memory it will know means certain death.

However, a fly's most favorite suicide method is to dive into a broiling hot cappuccino or chocolate.

According to the spokesperson, houseflies, unlike humans, are strictly heterosexual. This will be the subject of a forthcoming report.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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