Written by Aakash
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Topics: Chemists

Thursday, 29 March 2012

On 29th March, a local newspaper agency of Stillwater, Oklahoma, got a call from Ethan J. Brown, late in the night, who claimed to have had a major breakthrough in finding a cure to a very special medical condition.

Ethan, a chemist by profession, went bankrupt after his wife eloped with his father and stole all his valuable possessions, leaving him with his old Phonograph and a couple of canned foods that had passed their expiry dates.

A reporter from the agency, excited to be the first one to spread the word, hurried to the given address without asking any further questions. On reaching there, she was informed by Ethan that he had managed to create the new SZ-652 serum.

"After 1..2..3..7 failed animal tests and 2 cases of lethal amounts of human poisoning, I am very proud to show you the most advanced medicine created in the history of humankind", says a drunk Ethan.

Reporter- "Wow, sounds very promising. How long have you been working on this?"

"About...(looks at his watch) 2 hours straight."

"Oookay. But, um, what medical condition is it used against? And why do you call it the most "advanced" medicine ever created?"

"Well thats because, you see, the disease that it (will) fight has not yet been discovered."

"Whaaat? What do you mean not discovered?"

"Well, you see, I have high hopes for this formula. I am sure that someday a man in a white coat will discover some rare form of disorder in one of his patients, and he will use this formula to treat him successfully, touchwood"

Next day, another local newspaper had printed the follwing article- "Local newspaper reporter arrested after mercilessly beating up a drunk local chemist."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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