Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 22 February 2012

image for NASA Fires Publicity Department after Latest Black Hole Headlines
"Dark Eye" was allowed to remain as an acceptable term.

Following a series of news reports about NASA's ability to "sniff the wind coming from a new black hole", the entire publicity department at the Kennedy Space Center was given their walking papers.

"It might have been an honest mistake yes, but one of many made over the last ten years", says NASA Public Image Director, Chet Propeld. "It's definitely time for some new blood, hopefully with a pulse and an eye towards the social impact of some of our press releases".

Referring to past headlines from NASA including, "Vibrating Probe Penetrates Venus's Dark Surface", "Brown Eye on Jupiter's Back Side Still a Mystery" and "Shuttle Drops Its Load on the International Space Station", Propeld thinks the whole department just needed a house cleaning.

The new manager in charge of future press releases, Donna B. Nozey, made a formal appearance in the NASA press room. Her first order of business was to declare a moratorium on the use of certain words in all future communications with the press. The list of retired descriptive words includes: "Black hole, black hole wind, sniffing the black hole, penetrate, thrust, maximum thrust, thrusting penetration, brown eye, dropping loads, solar ejection, gaseous emission", the list continued to be read live to the press. Propeld was seen just off stage with his hand over his face.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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