Maastricht, Holland: In the University of Maastricht Dutch scientists have discovered how to make synthetic hamburgers and a top Scottish burger chain has bought all rights for further development.
The global empire owned by the McDonald family realise that they just cannot continue fooling their customers by claiming that there is actually meat in their burgers, so this synthetic version is the perfect substitute because now there is no meat in them anyway, just a miniscule piece of meat-tissue.
The Dutch scientists have used meat tissue to grow the burgers and claim that they can be put into production very soon. Burger restaurant owner Jock McDonald is said to be over the moon at this discovery because now non-meat eaters can flock back to his restaurants and this will increase profits even more. Also, they can stop their very expensive advertising campaigns which are full of lies attempting to convince the world that their burgers are made of a 100% meat.
Every cows stomach has a silver lining and this fantastic news will at least stop abbatoirs opening up millions of them!