Written by Gary Potter
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Tuesday, 7 February 2012

image for More evolution miracles!
Some land grass - obviously unhappy with aquatic life

Fans of stupid theories are celebrating again as the religion of evolution presents yet another miracle to behold.

Loons posing as scientists claim to have discovered the oldest living thing on earth, some seagrass which they have the nerve to suggest is up to 200,000 years old! However we must stress that their 'research' does allow for a margin error between 12,000 and the 200,000 - gap of some 188,000 years!

Apparently this seagrass, which strangely has not bothered to evolve, was dated using DNA sequencing. [Reporters note: DNA sequencing has nothing to do with dates, rather comparing one DNA sequence with another, and inferring dates based on an assumption that one 'evolved' from another].

Prof Carlos Duarte [real name - google news him] made a shocking blunder when he was attempting to explain this recent marvel "the seagrass has been able to reach such old age because it can reproduce asexually and generate clones of itself. Organisms that can only reproduce sexually are inevitably lost at each generation".
This frank and clumsy admission that sexually reproducing organisms are lost in each generation is a giant kick in the spuds for the fantasists such as Richard Dawkins, who claim that mutations do not result in loss, but gain, and is offered as the preferred explanation as to how genetic information actually increases!

We tried to contact Richard Dawkins, but he was working on his latest coffee table best seller "Evolution - If I say it's true for long enough, the simple will believe me".

Prof Duarte is now in hiding.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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