Written by Joe Leff
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Thursday, 2 February 2012

A team of neuroscientists and brain surgeons have found that ingesting magic mushrooms really does help when it comes to tricky brain problems.

Over a six month trial period at a Ruffcutts Hospital, they ingested magic mushrooms before carrying out operations on patients' brains.

"Ingesting magic mushrooms is great for easing our nerves," said Dr. Eric Smiley, Head of Neurosurgery, "especially when we have to tackle difficult operations. We are less stressed out, and we see things in more vivid colours. And when we start making incisions, we are much more creative. One of our patients has already been on show in the Tate gallery."

Some of their patients have also remarked about how wonderful the whole experience was. "When I said my head was hurting," said Walter Dibley, "Dr. Smiley just leant over and kissed it better. And then we all had a laugh."

Rita Hedley went in for a prefrontal lobotomy, and came out with a new hairstyle. "When I saw my new centre parting, I was over the moon," she said. "And those lovely doctors said I don't need to comb it anymore - it'll stay like that forever. Think of the money I'll save on hairdressers."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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