Written by Ellie James
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

image for Apple to Introduce the iEye
The iEye can even be used in press conferences.

Cupertino, California - Apple has announced a new technology that has already outdone Siri in lab tests. The iEye will make it's debut in time for the Super Bowl so that men everywhere can keep an eye on the big game while the ladies of their lives drag them out shopping, to couple bridal showers and other places men would rather not be.

Senior lab officials at Apple state that the iEye will fit on your eye very much like a contact lens and comes with a special charging case.

Earlier versions of iEye were said to be complete failures as it was difficult for contact wearing costumers to distinguish between the iEye and their regular contacts. The bugs seem to have been worked out however now that the iEye has the Apple logo on it.

The iEye will be able to stream movies, music and surf the web all by eye movement so that while having dinner with your special lady, you can check the scores, update your social media status, and answer email.

Says John Smith, one of the top designers from Apple, "We can't guarantee you'll stay out of the dog house while using the iEye, but we can give you a head start. It's up to the wearer to refrain from saying anything stupid, laughing at status updates while the girlfriend is talking about something serious, and yelling 'Pass it, pass it!"

Smith stated that all iEyes would come with a users manual that will explicitly warn the users of proper conduct while wearing the device.

The iEye will be in stores beginning this Wednesday in all stores that sell Apple products as well as sporting goods stores.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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