Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 8 January 2012

image for Scientific Study Finds That People Lose Their Marbles At Forty!
Further Proof : Hitler, who was potty, came to power at the age of 43!

A recent scientific study to determine the age when the human brain starts to show a significant decline in it's reasoning powers has found that it's no later than forty. This is much earlier than was determined by a different team of scientists in 2006 - they found it to be at around sixty!

Heading the latest team was twenty-eight year old Professor Kevin Walnut. He explains,

"Our team consisted of much younger scientists than the first study where the youngest was already over forty with none of them yet to reach the age of sixty, though I don't think they deliberately arrived at an answer to the question conveniently a few years older than themselves. Nevertheless, when our younger team came to look at the exact same data they'd been using when arriving at their answer it was very soon obvious to us that the answer is not sixty, but at forty.

"The problem was that their egos refused to let the older scientists look at the data impartially. They were directed by their egos to overlook and ignore any data indicating the decline of mental faculties to have already occurred to their own brains, and to grab any data they could possibly use to support it being several years older than themselves. The elderly ego is a cherry picker" says professor Walnut.

Continuing he says, "The fact that the true age of mental decline starts no later than forty is of great concern. Worse still is that the data conclusively showed that once the decline starts it then quickly turns into a mental avalanche of warped logic and pottiness. Rarely will anyone be able to tie their own shoelaces by the time they've reached the age of forty-two. Again their egos will be desperately trying to conceal the decline from others, often by pretending to be intoxicated and hoping others will assume it explains the slurred speech, banging into walls, falling into privet hedges, and so on.

"The young person of course will also display those symptoms when truly under the influence of alcohol but the difference is that they are still training their brains to 'take the drink'. The elderly cherry picking ego tries to pretend it also is still in that training phase so that it can both use it as the reason for potty behaviour, and to give the impression to others that it is not yet old enough to have reached the age when it can 'take the drink'.

"A major concern is of course that up until as late as thirty-nine a person may still be totally reasonable and able to make decisions of great benefit to society. This is often the case with the younger politician. The problem is that a person with sound judgement of mind will only reach a position of real power, such as a Prime Minister, at a time when their brain is about to rapidly lose it's marbles. The general public then stand around scratching their heads at the decisions they make wondering how on earth they could have voted such a potty person to be their Prime Minister."

Not surprisingly the latest findings have been rejected by Prime Minister David Cameron(45) who says;

"I've had a private discussion about this behind closed doors with my friend Nick Clegg(45) at number ten. We discussed it at length then assured each other that we are not potty. There are no plans to discuss it further and our decision is final."

"That's another thing the data revealed" says Professor Walnut "As soon as people pass the age of forty their egos force them to make as many decisions as they can behind closed doors."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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