Written by DJC

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Monday, 2 January 2012

image for iPhone usage triggers impotence
A particulary bad case of iPhonitis

In a recently released study from the internationally renowned male sexual dysfunction R and D thinktank "Get it up!", male iPhone users are 37% more likely to suffer impotence than other smartphone users.

"We have been conducted this study for some time now and have found that almost 40% of male iPhone users in the study experience some sort of dysfunction." Dr Kate Weston, one of the medical practitioners in the study elaborates.

"Unusually, in the affected group, iPhones that had the "Angry Birds" game installed, the incidence rate rose to over 80%."

Researchers have yet to determine the reason behind these startling results, but have concerns that it may be an electronic version of the avian flu.

Stephen Whitworth, head of marketing at Pfizer released a press statement with good news for those affected.

Pfizer Pharmaceuticals is aware of the discomfort and embarrassment suffered by those men who have been experiencing problems with iPhonitis. Pfizer has taken the steps of modifying one of it's existing range for use by those affected. The product is tentatively titled iAgra*, and will be available by prescription or over the internet via an app that we will be creating.

*iAgra's side effects include diarrhea, uncontrollable dribbling and a primal need to keep checking facebook on your iPhone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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