Written by IainB
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Sunday, 1 January 2012

image for Sociologists coin a new term: Tenager
My first chest hair! Yes!

Sociologists have coined a new term to describe the way that boys retreat into their own heads from the age of ten onwards.

"We have noticed that boys appear to be moody and entering puberty much earlier these days," said sociologist Connie Fern. "For this reason, we have coined the term tenager."

"Teenagers have certain traits," said Fern. "These traits first emerge when boys are ten. Hence the term."

It is at the age of ten when boys suddenly develop a taste for music their parents do not approve of, when boys start to cease to communicate with their parents.

"It is aged ten when boys lay the foundation for rebellious behaviour," Fern said. "Although they claim to dislike girls intensely, internally, they are realising the benefits of knowing girls. For those that will go on to become gay, it is at ten when this starts."

It's the age when they have underarm smell problems. It is the age that the first spot appears. Sebum begins the process of making hair greasy and lank.

"It is time that these early signs of puberty in boys are recognised for what they are," said Fern. "It is time to give them a name, and we choose tenager to encapsulate all that is involved in becoming ten."

"It's quite a clever term, isn't it?" said Hilary Capillary of the Oxford English dictionary. "Ms Fern made a convincing argument, but the word's not going in the dictionary."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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