Written by Gary Potter
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Thursday, 29 December 2011

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Science - not to be confused with evolution

Fans of stupid theories are once again celebrating as the cult of 'evolution' spews up its latest discoveries, which as always defy actual science.

'Scientists', their description not mine, from Scotland are pleased to announce the discovery in Scottish waters of the phosphorescent sea pen. It is so called because its complexity in appearance is similar to that of a quill, and lights up like a Christmas tree when touched. How a light up mechanism 'evolved' is as always going to be made up by nuts such as Richard Dawkins.

Initial speculations suggest a symbiotic relationship where the illumination helps its predator to kill it better. Again another beneficial genetic mutation, only found in the magical realms of evolution will be the cause for the light up mechanism.

The second improbable 'find' is that of the Amphioxus. Not having bothered to evolve significantly since it supposedly popped into being some 550 million years ago(?) is has remained virtually unchanged, still lacking a brain or face.

A real scientist had this to say:

"Such finds are a constant kick in the nuts for crackpot evolution fundamentalists. How the Amphioxus remains unaltered whilst the rest of the totally made up evolutionary tree is so diverse is one of the many problems brushed under a rather bulging dirty carpet. Luminosity in organisms is another problem, showing up in varying species, almost as a deluxe model."

Ricky Gervais, ex comedian turned self styled evolution expert is currently trying to indoctrinate his twits on his now infamous twittering page twitted:

"Magical creatures pop into existence by themselves using time, that is pure science. I am told it is science by my dawkins, and so anyone who doesn't agree must be a mong. Not a downs syndrome mong, but a modern day lighthearted mong. L8r twonks."

The BBC are currently making up fictitious computer generated footage to feed the easily convinced.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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