What a disgrace! At the annual Twitter holiday party, many of the birdies drank too much. Way too much.
Some were still in jail the next day, having been arrested for FUI (Flying Under the Influence) violations on the way home.
Onlookers were appalled at seeing flocks of the birds flying until all hours of the night. Many of the birds were wearing mini Santa hats which fell down over their eyes, impeding their vision and causing them to crash willy-nilly into all sorts of objects, including Christmas trees with lights.
Even poor Frosty the Snowman complained: "There I was standing with my broomstick in hand, not bothering a soul, when a flock of tipsy Twitter birdies came in for the kill. One even did his business right on my silk hat; another took a dump in my corncob pipe. What an outrage."
Santa Claus, out for a practice run with the reindeer on the night of the Twitter party, also had an encounter with a rogue set of the birdies. "They were very, very naughty -- not a bit nice at all," Santa said. He continued: "They kept on tweaking poor Rudolph's nose and pulling on my beard. What is the world coming to?"
Twitter executives had no official comment about the behavior of their employees. Unofficially, an executive shrugged and said to one of his friends: "What's there to say? Birds will be birds."
Apparently, however, there are some changes in the works. Next year's holiday event will be a nice sedate tea party in the middle of the day at which tea, crumpets, and a festive selection of worms will be served.