Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

image for Higgs Boson Confusion Causes Head Explosion Outbreak
That's it... just there, to the left and down a bit...

A spate of head explosions hit news organisations yesterday in the wake of the press conference held by boffins at the Cern laboratory.

Physicists Fabiola Gianotti and Guido Tonelli presented experiment results which scientists reckon provide evidence of the so-called God particle.

Excitement in the scientific community and among science journalists has been tangible in the weeks leading up to the conference, and phone lines and internet links to news rooms were red hot after the findings were greeted with applause.

But sub-editors throughout the Press began to suffer high stress levels as reporters' copy was presented. Several suffered exploding heads.

"It was crazy," said a spokesman for West London agency, EIF News & Features. "Despite all the recent speculation in the Press and despite having it written down in front of them, several reporters managed to mis-spell Higgs boson.

"We saw 'Hicks Bowsun' and 'Higges Bosonn' but the worst case I heard of was at a national paper which I'd better not name. There the reporter apparently called it the Higgs Boatswain!

"Being of a maritime background, this chap apparently thought the particle was called 'Higgs Bos'n' but was reluctant to use the familiar abbreviation - which could be seen as correct behaviour, if you want to look at it that way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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