Written by Aspartame Boy

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Wednesday, 7 December 2011

image for Ebola vaccine success in New Jersey
The white foam was regurgitated by the mice after chewing the pellets

Ocean City, N.J. Scientists tested a new vaccine: protecting mice from the Ebola virus, according to an obscure journal entry brought to our attention by local policeman, Constable Finass, who is investigating the possible related disappearance of hundreds of human subjects.

The results are reported in the journal Proceedings of National Academy of Pet Stores.

Pet shops had been reporting an unusual amount of deaths of white mice due to the Ebola virus in New Jersey. Normally a rare event, it was killing hundreds of mice a day.

In order to obtain the vaccine, human subjects were infected with the Ebola virus. After they died, which did not take very long, their bodies were heated to 99C for thirty minutes, blended, centrifuged, mixed with aspartame, and formed into chewable pellets which mice consumed; the study showed it protected the mice.

Al Gore sent a congratulatory letter to the head researcher, a Dr. Eathday.

Profits are now back to normal at the pet shops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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