Written by Joe Leff

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Saturday, 3 December 2011

A team of brain researchers, painters and decorators at Do-It-All University have found that some people have the ability to hallucinate colours at will - even without the help of hypnosis, hallucinogenic drugs, or Dulux colour charts.

The study, published in the Journal of Consciousness and Colour Schemes, was carried out on a miserably cold, grey day in November. The researchers tested groups of people who had nothing else to do. They admitted they were 'highly suggestible' in hypnosis.

The subjects were asked to look at a black-and-white films and to see colour in them. They were tested under hypnosis, and fell asleep straight away. When they woke up they were tested again. But some of them walked out, complaining "We've seen this one before."

To stop any more escaping, the researchers clamped the remaining subjects in MRI scanners - which depicted highly coloured patterns.

Professor Art Iffarti, lead researcher on the project, said: "These are very talented and colourful individuals who enjoy watching the Black-and-White Minstrel show more than most people. They can change their perception of the world at will. In fact, I'm green with envy." Some of the subjects later revealed that they had saved a fortune on TV licences and printers.

However, one critic has rubbished the findings: "This kind of research just makes me see red," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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