A massive kick-ass laser is set to go head-to-head with the menace of a celestial garbage sucker dubbed the 'Space Dyson' NASA HQ sources said today.
Decades of fledgeling human space exploration have been targetted by the existence of an 'alien' vacuum cleaner said to be incapable of differentiating between a mini asteroid and yet another unmanned mission to Mars.
Now its humongous sucking power will be challenged by a new Hadron Collider-style laser array that's set to smash into smithereens the monster's rapacious appetites.
"All those 'Marie Celeste' type of space vehicle vanishings are easily explained by this alien sucker," NASA chief scientist Dr Einstein Flintstone commented.
"Wanna see pix of it gobbling up Lord Lucan, Shergar, Amelia Earhart's Lockheed Model 10 Electra??"