The boredom epidemic that has been sweeping South Wales has reached Cumbria.
"Obviously, the epidemic has made significant progress in a very short time," said Doctor Fantastico, who has been tasked with finding the cause of the epidemic and stopping it.
According to Fantastico, the boredom epidemic is becoming more serious.
"People can get bored very quickly," said Fantastico. "And it can affect anybody, child or old, male or girl. We've now had thirty-two confirmed cases, and a possible twenty-three suspected. Although they could be either natural causes or a stabbing."
Possible mechanisms for passing on boredom are being investigated, from wind born agents to person to person contact. Although why the boredom epidemic has currently bypassed the north west is a mystery, due to it being the most boring place in the UK.
"Our most promising line of enquiry," said Fantastico, "is yawning."
Several apocryphal tales seem to indicate that the yawn is the mechanism by which boredom is transmitted from one person to another.
"We're quite worried," said Fantastico. "I was personally witness to a single yawn infect an entire bus-load of previously uninfected individuals. We have taken all fifty-two of them in for close scrutiny. We're keeping them separated in Spartan cells, so far we've only lost one. But they all keep yawning."
Unfortunately, Fantastico has discovered that yawns can be transmitted via video feed, with a yawn from a cell being passed to the person who had the job of watching the solitary confined subjects twenty-three hours a day.
"We had to put Dave in one of the cells and stop watching them," said Fantastico. "Even if yawning isn't the transmission vector for the boredom epidemic, it's bloody contagious. You only have to show some people the word 'Yawn' and it sets them off."