Written by IainB
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Sunday, 9 October 2011

image for Isle of Wight News? There's an app for that
If you need the tide times, there's now an app for that

The Isle of Wight News is pleased to announce that the Isle of Wight News App is now available from the Apple Store.

The new Isle of Wight News App will keep people on the island completely up to date with all the various comings and goings on the island and is available completely free of charge.

Split into sections the first section is the News of Day, from roving reporter Ted Bonasare; if it's happening on the island, he will report on it. Agnes Millbank will be answering reader's questions on everything from household thrift tips to gardening to quantum physics now that she has completed her post doctoral in subatomic particles.

Tourist Watch will provide real time information to islanders on where the tourists to the island currently are, so that they can be avoided for a stress free life. Also in real time is the Traffic Cam, if there's a slow moving tractor coming out of Ventnor, or a caravan at Yarmouth, be the first to know about it. Cows Harbour is a spelling mistake and will cover the shipping details out of Cowes.

Sport will be covered by Kevin Threadbare, keeping an eye on the football and cricket. As the players of the Isle of Wight Cricket Team are also the players of the Isle of Wight Raiders AFC and Isle of Wight Giants Basketball and Isle of Wight Chilly ice hockey team, it is unlikely that there will be a fixture clash, but in the off chance that there is, Kevin is looking for an assistant to tweet from alternative venues.

If you need to know the tide times on any of the island's wonderful beaches, then as well as being clearly posted on each of the beaches, they are also available from the app. Please note, due to publishing rules, this is a premium service and will cost thirty-seven pence an hour and may involve a long call.

Isle of Wight News subscribers can upload their photographs to the App, the best of which will form the Picture of the Day for the following day. Unless the following day is a Sunday.

Finally, if you need an apostrophe checker, an emergency plumber, a lady gardener or a bricklayer who work's Friday afternoons, there's the classified section. All tradespeople are vetted by the Isle of Wight News, and Henry might get booked up, so early rather than later is the watch word.

The Isle of Wight News App can be found in the Apple Store in the category Fruit and Vegetables due to allowing Cathy to upload it. Go get it now!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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