Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Hotmail server explodes, showers Microsoft offices in cooked spam
One of the server room monitors afterwards

The Microsoft offices in Sacramento are calling in the cleaners this morning after the servers hosting their Hotmail email accounts exploded covering everything with cooked Spam.

"A lot of people have been overusing their Hotmail email accounts of late," said Microsoft Cleaning Technician, Emma Nemms. "We think this was the source of the problem."

According to Nemms, at three o'clock this morning an email harvesting bot created by LulzSec used millions of Hotmail email addresses to send Spam security messages to every other Hotmail account. This exacerbated the problem of so many users on Hotmail worldwide and caused the servers to rapidly fill to capacity and beyond.

"Once the servers reached capacity," said Nemms, "it was only a matter of time before it all went horribly wrong."

Within five minutes the server safety systems were overwhelmed and the servers went beyond capacity, and started to leak emails out of input and output ports on the servers.

"Before anybody in the offices could react," said Nemms, "it was too late."

The leaking Spam became a torrent and rapidly clogged the air vents on the servers before filling the boxes and exploding in dramatic fashion.

"We went from 'What's going on?' to 'Kaboom!' inside two minutes," said Nemms, sadly. "I've been cleaning Spam up for hours now, and it looks like I've barely started."

LulzSec member, who prefers to use his codename of Anthony Thompson of Wichita, had only one thing to say: "Lulz!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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