Houston, TX-- There is grim news today from NASA headquarters about a star called Nibiru. NASA scientists have calculated that Nibiru will make its closest approach to earth within only 48 hours. NASA has already notified the military, and President Obama has been informed.
Nibiru is now believed to be a neutron star. The latest pictures from the Hubble Space telescope also show Nibiru is surrounded by millions of asteroids. Neutron stars are extremely dense. Any close approach to the earth would raise tidal waves over 50 miles high, and wipe out the human race. Even one asteroid striking the earth would be devastating.
NASA's head honcho, Dr. Karl Saygun, called a press conference to give more information to the public. The press conference was covered by all the major media, including theSpoof.com.
"It's coming on Wednesday. We can't stop it." said the ashen-faced Dr. Saygun.
There were muffled cries of fear in the audience. Some reporters began weeping, while others panicked and ran away. A strange looking man dared to ask a question:
"Dr. Saygun, how close will Nibiru come to Earth??" asked the reporter.
The esteemed astronomer put on his reading classes and scanned some documents.
"Nibiru will be exactly 700 bbbbbbbilllion miles from the earth on Wednesday. It will then make a sharp turn into Outer Space never to be seen again. There is no danger to the earth." he said.
When Dr. Saygun was asked why he gave a press conference that upset people, knowing that nothing would happen, he gave a quick response.
"Oh, I just like saying the word bbbbbbbbilllion and also scaring people. It's Monday morning, and there's nothing else to do."