Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: NASA, Satellites, UARS

Monday, 26 September 2011

image for NASA Satellite Falls on Scientist Who Predicted Where it Would Fall
EVERYBODY DUCKKKKKK!!!!!

Lead NASA space junk scientist Larry Wrong was killed this morning by a one ton piece of debris from NASA's falling research satellite outside of his Orlando, Miami home. The satellite, UARS, which is commonly known as "the satellite that is falling out of the sky" landed on Wrong while he was leaving his house to go to a probability conference.

Larry Wrong predicted that the satellite would end up landing either over the Pacific Ocean or somewhere in the US Northwest, hopefully Oregon, due to the fact that he really hated the Oregon Duck's college football team's uniforms. But more importantly, he would win his office pool if it did which would get him a large soda.

When rescue personnel finally got around to lifting the one ton satellite off of Wrong, they found he pretty much resembled a bunch of tomato bisque. Amazingly, Larry Wrong's 30 year old Timex watch was working just perfectly.

Larry Wrong was a former New Orleans's weatherman who worked for TV station OH KRUD. It was Larry Wrong who infamously predicted that the 2005 Hurricane Katrina would miss the city of New Orleans entirely and, instead, roll into Dallas and destroy Texas Stadium, Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys. Seeing that everyone outside of Texas pretty much hates the Dallas Cowboys, everyone agreed that the prediction was a pretty good one. Which is why so many people stayed in New Orleans and partied.

That was until Katrina hit the city of New Orleans and damaged the Super Dome which caused the New Orleans Saints to have to play all of their home games for the 2005 season on the road.

Due to a decline in popularity and an increase in gun sales, Jerry Wrong felt that he had worn out his welcome and headed to NASA to become space junk scientist which is akin to being a Wall Street Junk Bond Broker with the exception that you don't make anywhere near the money before everyone wants to kill you.

Jerry Wrong joined a team full of other frustrated former weathermen and weatherwoman in an effort to predict where space junk will land when things like satellites, the Mir space station and rogue politicians such as Sarah Palin finally come back to earth.

"What is really ironic", mentioned Wrong's wife Susan. "Is that Larry's favorite book was Chicken Little. Maybe, if he just ran when going to that Probability Conference the satellite debris would have missed him competely. But then again, he did have a 2 million dollar insurance policy taken out on himself".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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