Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Saturday, 24 September 2011

image for CERN fined for faster-than-light travel

Scientists at CERN have been fined by God after one of his holy speed cameras caught them firing subatomic particles at faster than the speed of light. The speed of light is known as the "ultimate speed limit" of all matter and energy, but this is the first time anyone is thought to have broken it.

The boffins received the news this morning in the form of a massive stone tablet which mysteriously appeared outside CERN headquarters. The tablet, written in German, details the speeding offence and includes a crude etching of the event. It says that CERN will have to sacrifice ten goats, or one first-born human, in order to appease the intergalactic law-enforcing deity.

Theologists are surprised, as this is the first evidence of God's direct interference in human activity since the Pope received a parking ticket in 1974.

Atheists are also concerned that God may actually be German.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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