Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 22 September 2011

image for Malfunction At CERN Sends World Back In Time To 2011
Back To 2011

Tardis, France-- An unexpected clash between neutrino and heated tachyon particles inside the CERN laboratory has set time back--all the way to the year 2011. Instead of waking up on March 23, 2088, the world has awakened to a date in late September--almost 77 years ago! Scientists inside the reactor are working to correct the problem, and hope to get everything back to normal "in a few days".

Dr. Hu is the director of the CERN laboratory, and he gave an explanation of what happened.

"Some overheated tachyon particles created a Heisenberg Time Distortion Field around the earth. Once we cool the particles down, it will be 2088 again." said the doctor.

Scientists say only this Solar System was affected, and not the Outer Colonies. Communication with the Colonies is impossible at this time.

"We believe it's either September 29 or so." said Dr. Hu. "Everything is very quaint and old-fashioned outside, it's really very charming in its own way." said the doctor.

Dr. Hu was also quick to point out that the memories of everyone on earth have been erased, except for the very smartest people.

The doctor also wanted to discuss the ominous nature of the situation.

"We definitely want to fix this problem as soon as possible. No one wants to relive the awful events of the last three months of 2011 ever again!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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