Written by queen mudder

Print this

Sunday, 18 September 2011

image for Bread from crop circle wheat fields 'sending people mental' - report
The triple nipple crop circle drove an estimated 5,000 Wiltshire residents nutz

London - An explosion of scare-in-the-community numbers is being blamed on alien-tampered wheat that's infiltrated the national food chain.

"You've only got to look at some Wiltshire residents' faces to see those Darwinian throwback genes surfacing," a Government study warned today.

The report confirms widespread fears of alien mind control as a bumper harvest of contaminated field produce hits supermarket shelves.

Shoppers' symptoms are particularly rife in Southern England counties which hosted nearly 80% of the year's crop circles - including the world-famous ganja pipe-smoking PMT alien near Stonehenge.

This week a new study of underground rivulets flowing beneath some of the most publicised geometric field etchings found a link to outbreaks of acne after a rash of doctors' surgeries reported strange zit formations emerging.

"Crop circle-shaped boil infestations are sprouting up on patients' lower extremities," a Devizes GP commented today.

"The itching can get so bad that people are ending up having a fit - especially when they get the Private Consultation bill in the post on account of the NHS refusing to believe it's a treatable problem."


Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 5?

4 9 8 20
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top