Written by Angus McFiddle
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Friday, 16 September 2011

image for New planet is speck of Keppler dust
How the planet might have looked, if it wasn't a spec of dust. And if it was like earth. Which it wasn't.

A new planet discovered by the Keppler telescope has turned out to be no bigger than a speck of dust, say scientists at the world famous Keppler Nerdshed.

"We were excited by the discovery of a planet orbiting two stars," said Professor Devlin Somniac, "but then we realised that it was just a fleck of dust on the lens. Not even space dust but probably common or garden house dust."

The embarrassing discovery is tinged with some irony, because the false claim of an alien planet was caused by a group of aliens - the Brazilian immigrant cleaners who had not turned up for work.

"They are aliens of a different kind," said the professor, "they were off celebrating some saint or other so the telescope was not cleaned on the day we thought we had discovered the planet.

"We would especially like to apologise to Richard Branson, who has already published a schedule of Virgin Explorer flights to the new planet. These will now have to be cancelled."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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