Professor Loonybin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes is now hurtling towards the future and not back. His time-machine is in warp-factor 9 and the stars are looking heavenly tonight, bright, but dammit, suddenly a ginoromous black-hole appears:
The Future has arrived and with it a divine, pristine madness, never experienced before and a tale worth telling.
The landscape is barren and burnt as...
The batteries have been recharged with sulphuric acid caught high in the atmosphere above Iceland and Luton Airport, let the journey commence or stand still, it matters not:
Part II, The Present
It would be futile to mention the most obvious examples of present madness, Bush, Thatcher, Reagan, Blair, etc, but you did? Which proves the fact that Professor Loonybin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes knows w...
Professor Loonibin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes (no relation to the Scottish version) is about to publish a world shattering study in the form of a triology of the past, present and future of "Madness" or in colloquial terms and common
dialect "fucking bonkers" or Sugs.
Significantly, madness always flew over a sparrows nest until some mad US fucker decided to sing about it.
Way back wh...
A UK scientific survey has proved what we all knew already, men are prolific liars and women just lie (down) now and then.
Mums and wives are the most lied too people, obviously.
When men were naughty little boys that's where the lying begins i.e:
1) Mum, I didn't get that bitch pregnant, it was her fault she opened her legs.
2) Mum, I didn't "nick" that money out of your wallet it was D...
After receiving the following consignment from the National Geographic Society to report upon one of the most fabulous areas of Germany called SAUERLAND (in the local dialect, Kuhlschrank = Fridge) Jaggedone tippled off to the region only to discover it really is a fridge.
Stuck between Ruhrgebiet and the Kasseler Berge Sauerland/Kuhlschrank = Fridge is also well known as the "Hollandische Alpe...
As we all know all the French are GAY! They eat chocolate croissants and "dunk" them in their coffee, GHASTLY, that's GAY. They eat frogs legs, slippery and very GAY!
They cheat at Footy, especially that Scarlet "GAY PIMPernel", Messieur Henry, ask the Irish priests, they know him well!
Eat "stiff" Baguettes with sticky, creamy, slimy, stinking camembert dripping out of the sides, that's cer...
Mrs. Jaggedone = 2 recently had the devilish idea to concoct several recipes which respond rather violently to the digestive sytem and bowel area conducing a volcanic combustion effect on the rear end, commonly known as the anus!
It commenced on sunday over an evening meal of best Deutsche Sauerkraut with "Veggie Bangers" and spuds.
The night was spent heaving to and fro, left and right, gas...
Whilst contemplating having a "pussy' share one's life one should study the recommendations given in a Nepalese scientific study recently.
The results were astounding here they are:
A) A white "Pussy" is normally well house-trained, reluctant to sit on one's lap, doesn't like being told when to purr and blows hot and cold!
B) A "Tiger Pussy" can be intimidating, fiery hot and fiercely col...
Global Spoofwriters have been divulging their "New Years Resolutions" to the world and believe me the Spoof readership are in for some shockers!
The world can't wait so here we go:
Ace Spoofer Abel Rodriquez has vowed to lay off of the tequila, Obama and Mexican drug dealers but has promised to keep snorting the shit.
Queen Mudder has vowed to become a Lesbian Nun, give up mud wrestling...
What to do with left over Turkey bits and bobs is no longer a problem?????
After all of the excessive booze & drug abuse over the festive period, scientists, top chefs and Amy Winehouse have discovered the perfect recipe for Hangovers (Jaggedone got cramp HANGING too long OVER the bog)
Here are their recipes for those who think it's Easter and Jesus is about to be c...
On a quick trip to Oslo, Obama decided it was time to really do something for himself instead of always "acting" on behalf of the Human Race, excluding the Taliban, Iraqi insurgents, Bin Laden and the KKK.
He dropped in to pick up his very Nobel prize while the rest of the world was left wondering why?
Here are maybe a few better candidates than Barack who could have easily "knocked him into...
England have protested to the FIFA about everything and every other participating team in the World Cup 2010 and have demanded a free BYE to the Final!
This extraordinary request is based upon the following facts:
A) The home nation are African and have no right to be there?
B) France are a bunch of cheats, lyers and Poofs and have Platini backing them.
C) Spain are too good and should...
Here is a tale to tell all Spoof metal/rock freaks, hope you enjoy it, it was taken from my blogsite and edited especially for metalhead Spoof readers and writers
Jaggedone has been literally
There's not many things that excite this ol fart but last Monday in downtown Cologne, Germany, me and me ol slave WAN-KIN-DIK were given a mega-nuclear-B...
Once home of the glorious, filthy, debauched wild-wild-west (Will Smith often bonked there!) Bordello Falls had now deteriorated into a windy, bone dry, dust bowl called a "Ghost town" not even Hyenas and Dingos would enter (difficult actually as they reside in Africa and Australia, never mind, you know what I mean!) even vultures, scorpions and rattlers would make a wide berth avoiding Bordello.
The Streets Of Bordello Falls
The Alamo pales into insignificance as Bordello Falls into it's "Last Stand"
Recap: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7
The passing topsy - turvy years had cast a scar across the windswept, dusty mainroad linking east with west through Bordello Falls.
Times were quieter, but on this particular b...
Spoilt brat, well known "high society screwer" and ex-husband of right royal "screwer" Fergie, has decided to opt for a new career as, THINKER!
This surprising re-THINK has opened up plenty of opportunities for the Duke of York to divulge to the public his thoughts on several touchy subjects like for example bankers bonuses, etc!
Andy THINKS they're OK, well he is a "bonking moron" and the b...
BNP leader, Nick Griffin, our loveable, cuddly BNP leader once denied the holocaust, he's an idiot, so what!
Anybody who denies the holocaust is a complete idiot!
Anybody who is allowed to appear on the BBC with such arguments, is also a complete idiot!
Anybody who stands up for the right to express his or her views about the demographic development of the UK, homosexual relationships, im...
Recoiling global "Pizza Bakers" are shocked at the massive attention being given to them recently by the satirical press.
From the deep, very dark, sinister minds of sleuth, spoof writers reaching the 4 corners of the planet "Pizza Bakers" are in the limelight and actually don't know how to handle their newly found fame!
Once upon a time it was a toss, a Margherita, tuna fish Spezielle, etc,...
Warning! This piece of shit was written under a bridge in Amsterdam, whilst fucking stoned, it's not fit for human consumption but better than Nitschke! (being totally subjective, Adolf!)
Avid and true Jaggedone's, St.Jagged has been travelling the cyber universe and has now returned from his billion mile travelling stints to reveal the TRUTH about where St.Jagged (disguised as Jaggedone!) has...
GOD (yes the real GOD, who?) has given an exclusive interview to the Spoof family of writers and readers. Astonished by this call from above (or below!) The Spoof, believing that the whole thing was a sham, decided eventually to send a representative to this astonishing, historical occasion reason being: The Spoof has no boundaries, heavenly or hellish!
Anyway, The Spoof ordered Jaggedone and h...
"OK, OK, QT, we've penetrated but are we being tracked, Blowme-job is an artful dodger I,m sure he'll be busy shagging groupies, no, maybe our chance is to slip one over and join the mother fucker!"
"Why the hell are we here anyway, QT?" Bargis gleefully giggled with a chidish, slightly mocking grin.
"Keep focused, no horny diversions, just exterminate Blowme-job, keep him from acting out hi...
The CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters, well known here on The Spoof has just this second relayed another world blockbuster regarding Mr Ahmedinejad (President of Iran) and his very best friend Mr Netanyahu (Prime Minsiter of Israel).
This telephone conversation was tapped by ace CIA reporter Hansi Gobballs in the turkish baths (all steamed up) in downtown Geneva, Switzerland.