The Mouse has had enough.
Within his realm, The Mouse would be inscribed THE MOUSE, but here on this satire site we are safe from his surveillance and what could be misconstrued as a sign of disrespect.
At least for now, that is.
For years The Mouse has watched as young upstarts have corroded the Empire that he and his Master have so carefully and painstakingly put together.
It is frus...
There are many factors within the fray,
that have turned our Presidents hair to grey.
Pundits, done-thats and patriots galore
seek to sabotage him evermore.
These are the things that have turned our fearless leader's head from black to grey in only five short years:
Having Military Generals whisper to him that 'they would do a Kennedy' on him if he so much as tried to close Guantanamo Ba...
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
we were all totally soused.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
with the kids still in them so they'd be out of our hair.
They were stuffing candies into their heads
as visions of cavities filled us with dread.
Momma and I settled down for a long winter's nap
right after a run to the bat...
Jang Song Thaek, second top gun in the North Korean Political Machine and uncle to the countries President Kim Jon Un, was truly astonished at the surprise party his nephew had for him on Tuesday.
"This is amazing!' stated Jang, who seemed genuinely astonished by the large contingent of soldiers waiting for him outside the Politburo. "But it isn't even my birthday!"
"Oh, don't concern yourse...
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom.
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper.
The main star of the television series 'The Big Bang Theory' has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter.
He is the penultimate geek, the very pinnacle of nerdism that is humanly possible outside of becoming a cyborg.
He is the...
New York has always fascinated the writer, the artist, the poet and the thousand of gawking tourists who hang around outside the Good Morning America show hoping they'll get filmed for their family to see back in Wichita. But everyone sees the Big Apple with a different eye. Two of the cities biggest believers, Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese, seem to be viewing it from different planets. Just how...
The Republicans, after years of doing nothing but bash President Obama's Health Care Act, have at last introduced one of their own.
Pooling their vast knowledge of human caring with aid from their endless sources of think tanks they have come up with a master plan to help those who are poorer than themselves and do not have the Congressional Insurance of life that they do: They will fly anyone...
The Reuters News Service has published the results of the voting on who (and what) wore the best costumes to the 2013 Halloween Ball at the White House. A hearty congratulations to all those who received a mention and a silver crucifix to Dick Cheney in the hope that he won't be disturbing us in our dreams anymore.
George W. Bush- Came as a Court Jester.
Nancy Pelosi- Came as Wonder Woman, a...
Good day guys.
How is it going?
Blow up anything fun today?
Shoot your quota of infidels yet?
OK, sorry you're having a bad day.
Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are all guys. I doubt you've opened a female branch)
Alright, lets get started here. Now I know you claim to be a religious organization. The "Holy Men of Allah" or something like that.
It was a phone call that President Obama didn't want to make, but he knew he would eventually have to. He also knew that it would do little good, but that it had to be made anyway. So, on Wednesday, he did. And he was right.
"Good day, Mr. LaPierre. How are you doing today?"
"Oh, I was OK until you called."
"Well, I am sorry to hear that. I think it is time for us to have a little chat."...
SHUT HER DOWN! SHUT HER DOWN!
Go ahead and shut the dinosaur down! It will be days before most people even would notice.
They don't seem to be able to do much lately except fight like Yuppie versions of the Hatfields and McCoys anyway.
While we're at it let's cut off the Senators and Legislators hospitalization for life on the taxpayers dime and suspend their pay...
The American psyche sometimes goes through amazing changes. 12 years ago we couldn't wait to get our hands on that ultimate harbinger of evil Saddam Hussein and his dire WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION (GASP!!!!!!!) and to send his bad self to an early destiny with Hell (the Muslim one, not the Christian). Now, faced with a man just as repugnant who REALLY DOES HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION and H...
Former professional football players have just announced that they are seeking millions of dollars in damages due to injuries that have resulted from head concussions that have occurred from playing the game. The NFL stands to pay out 765 MILLION (!) for medical costs to ALL players claiming to still suffer from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). The lawyers say that this staggering sum is ju...
Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but the one tiny dollop on the sports map is Green Bay. How so? Let me tell you the story:
Once upon a time someone for some strange, mysterious reason a sport was...
A recent biography of NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre shows light on his character that reveals why he is so rabid on the topic of gun control. The President of Vice of the largest gun organization has been often in the news lately due to his extremist anti-governmental outlook and his opposition to any and all laws on firearms.
The new book entitled 'LaPierre- Assault Mouth', contains the following...
Dave Barry wrote a book about bad songs.
Fully 2/3rds of the songs he writes about are songs that I love.
Dave Barry is now on my excrement list.
First off, let me explain who Dave Barry is.
Dave Barry is a comic god.
Not a comic genius. Not a comic professional. Not a comic expert.
A comic god.
Let's get that straight right from the beginning.
I know he looks pretty geeky for someone...
Yes, it is true.
I voted for Sarah Palin.
No, not when she was running for Vice President.
Way back when she was running for governor of Alaska.
Posters of her were everywhere in the 49th state.
She seemed genuine, wholesome, the real thing.
Not to mention cute as hell.
And for the most part she was genuine.
She really did do things out of an independent nature (which later morphed to be...
Superman! - That Ultimate Hero of the Great American Dream (or Scream?)
One again screens across America will be displaying that ultimate hero of true American ethics, moral values, virility and down home decency- Superman.
Reborn again on the 75 anniversary of his birth in D.C. Comics, the Superhero to end all superheroes is coming once again to save the world and to show it that America i...
According to Genesis God made man out of the dust of the earth and woman out of Adam's rib - not an especially impressive start. But in the thousands of years since then things have changed and so have we humans. In Adam's and Eve's time they only needed to wear fig leaves to survive the environment until you -know -who came along. Nowadays one almost needs a suit of armor.
What would it be li...
For years we have heard the mantra that 'If you can read this, thank a teacher" thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings- the brainwash, the intimidation, the browbeating, the systematization of everything possible. If they ever did, here is what these bumper stickers would look like:
If you are so rob...
The top commanders of the Taliban have just introduced their own version of the famous Ten Commandments as received by Moses in the desert.
It is not well known that the Islamic Religion also uses the Bible as a prophetic religious work. That means that they believe in the Ten Commandments as received by Moses from Jehovah. Unfortunately, as can be expected, the Taliban branch of radical Islam...
Returning from an over night kayaking trip out in the islands near where I was working I had a short margin of time to get through a narrow pass between an island and the mainland before it got too shallow to paddle through even in a kayak. Glacier Bay was famous for having 20 to 25 foot tidal changes at times. I missed my margin by at least a half hour. I now had a ten hour wait be...