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Funny story: (The) News (Really) Bytes - April 2015

(The) News (Really) Bytes - April 2015

The Aurora Joker James Holmes trial finally begins three years after his attack at the premier of a new Batman movie that killed twelve people - Could we just have Batman seal him up in a forgotten part of the Batcave and save us the expense of having to take care of him for the rest of his demented life? Turkey, still denying the massacre of millions of Armenians 100 years ago, decides...
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Funny story: EXCLUSIVE - An Interview With Mrs. T - Mother of Boston Bombers

EXCLUSIVE - An Interview With Mrs. T - Mother of Boston Bombers

rfreed - Good day, Mrs. T! Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us. Mrs. T - You should be thankful, you American sensationalist pig. rfreed - Um.... well, that gets things off to a rousing start! As long as we are on the subject, why did your family come to America? Mrs. T - We came here to experience the American Dream. rfreed - Oh, you mean experiencing freedom and the i...
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Funny story: Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

What to do in the Grand Canyon if: you are confronted by a black bear- Calmly stand your ground and fight back. Do not run as they will chase you. a rock slide occurs above you- Quickly try to determine where the rock slide is coming down and run horizontally in the opposite direction. you are walking along the street and a car with California rental license plates is coming towards you...
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Funny story: (The) News (Really) Bytes - March

(The) News (Really) Bytes - March

57 Republican Senators have sent a letter to the Iranian government stating that "all of Obama's efforts to create a truce between them and us is in vain because when they get back in power they will make them great, horrible enemies again so that their armaments keepers will still give them kickbacks". Way to go guys! It wasn't bad enough that you made Obama look bad by inviting that Yahoo nam...
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Funny story: Justifiable Justice - Making the Punishment Ergonomic With the Crime.

Justifiable Justice - Making the Punishment Ergonomic With the Crime.

Punishments for crime have become rote in our modern society. A person can murder any number of people and still be allowed to live his life out even though he is less that worthless to the society which allows him to survive. Monsters on the international level can create atrocities for which they are not condemned. Irresponsible pundits appear on the world stage who wreck havoc with in their own...
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Funny story: Netan-YAHOO Confuses The American Congress With American Idol

Netan-YAHOO Confuses The American Congress With American Idol

The President of Israel, Netan-YAHOO, has given his talk today at the American Congress. His coming to America has been a bone of contention between the Republicans and Democrats (what else is new?) as Netan-YAHOO was not invited by President Obama but rather by Speaker of the House John Boehner, a breach of normal U.S. international protocol unless of course you want to piss off the President and...
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Funny story: A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings.

A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings.

Greetings, We, the 1% of this nation and others in this world that truly control what goes on inside our societies have taken the time to write to you little people who make up the other 99% of the citizenry. You should be thankful. We rarely take the time or the danger of sullying ourselves by dealing with you lesserlings. In truth, we are making this condescension in order to let you peopl...
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Funny story: A Rare Interview With Vladimir Putin, Czar of Russia

A Rare Interview With Vladimir Putin, Czar of Russia

Your fearless reporter has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days. It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an exclusive interview, especially since he is not allowed to enter the U.S. We had to do the Interview on his exclusive 300 foot yacht off the Crimea coast. rfreed- "Good day,...
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Funny story: Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says "...and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest...". Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving...
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Funny story: Katy Perry Spent a lot Of Time Contemplating Just What Her Super Bowl Act Would Be

Katy Perry Spent a lot Of Time Contemplating Just What Her Super Bowl Act Would Be

Katy Perry spent a lot of time considering what she would do for the Super Bowl. "Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time? That got a lot of coverage." Katy Perry with monkeyA lot of money and concern is spent by pe...
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Funny story: Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning. Life- The commitment you don't remember having agreed to. Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again. Life- A pain in the ass that doesn't limit itself to just that area. Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths. Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to reco...
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Funny story: Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

The three Islamic assassins who killed French citizens at Charlie Hebdo and a Jewish delicatessen arrive at the destination they had given their lives for, the Jihadist heaven promised them. An angel greets them as they arrive. "Welcome gentlemen. I hope your journey was peaceful." "Hardly!" stated Said Kouachi sarcastically. "We got our shit shot to pieces." "You can say that again." Sai...
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Funny story: ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men......And Women

ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men......And Women

ISIS - The Answer To The Future You've Always Wanted! (This is the real ISIS, the one that kills anyone and anything it wants, not one of those wimpy organizations with that stupid Egyptian symbol of a guy with a jackals head, the image of which, by the way, is outlawed by our sect.) Are you f___ed up? REALLY f___ed up? Do you dream of a life like the heroic characters you play for 5 h...
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Funny story: Script To New Disney Star Wars Leaked!

Script To New Disney Star Wars Leaked!

Intrepid, rat-like reporters working for international seamy tabloids just got the biggest story of the whole millennium (and that includes the Millennium Falcon!)- they copped the script from the new Star Wars movie still in production! Here is a summary of the plot: In a place long, long ago before even Walt Disney himself was born a galactic wide war ensued between the good people of the...
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Funny story: Hurley, Wisconsin- "A Drunkards Dream If I Ever Did See One!"

Hurley, Wisconsin- "A Drunkards Dream If I Ever Did See One!"

This phrase from 'Up On Cripple Creek' by The Band pretty well sums up the first and perhaps the last conscious impression that one would have of Hurley, Wisconsin. I had heard a couple times from people in Ironwood, Michigan just across the Montreal River and the state line from Hurley that it was 'where everyone goes to drink'. Coming into town from Highway 2 and arriving at the main junctio...
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Funny story: An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

Traveling on the road can be stressful. Sometimes too stressful. One doesn't need non-road situations to make them more stressful. Someone should mention this to Bill Gates. I am presently doing a road trip with limited amount of time to check out property. This is in a remote part of the country that consists of a lot of trees and hills and not much else. The towns that are here are Boonievill...
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Funny story: Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree On Something........Unfortunately.

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree On Something........Unfortunately.

The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers. The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding as its most important virtues. The UN high council members thought...
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Funny story: Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence. This sanctuary was known as a 'library' and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan. There entities known as "librarians" would covet and protect this preci...
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Funny story: Russian Takeover Of Other Nations Strategies Of Today And Tomorrow

Russian Takeover Of Other Nations Strategies Of Today And Tomorrow

2008- Russia invades former 'comrade' nation Georgia because Putin 'has Georgia on his mind….'. March 2014- Russia takes over the Crimea because they want to protect their naval fleet, and their hidden stores of vodka. June 2014- Russia begins infiltration and takeover of eastern Ukraine, wanting to 'protect the Russians living there' who invaded centuries ago. December 2014- Russia invad...
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Funny story: A Checklist Of The 'Humanitarian Aid' The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

A Checklist Of The 'Humanitarian Aid' The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

At the Russian/Ukrainian border the so-called 'humanitarian aid' convoy sent by Putin stops to do a final check on what supplies they will be delivering to the Ukrainians on the other side. Two Russian majors exit the first two vehicles carrying clipboards and meet at the back of the first truck. "OK Dimitri, let's take a final check on everything." "Yes, Sergei. Let's get it over with quick...
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Funny story: 'What Dreams Shall Come' - A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

'What Dreams Shall Come' - A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

Suicides were always a pain for Detective Malny. Always ugly. Always depressing, although he never let that show. This one especially. Robin Williams. One of the most famous comics ever. The guy who always made people laugh. Found hanging by a belt. By his own hands. He was met at the house by Detective Tromsa, one of the first ones on the scene, someone he had worked with often before...
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Funny story: A List Of Future Books Titles That Ann Coulter Plans

A List Of Future Books Titles That Ann Coulter Plans

Ann Coulter, that famous extreme right wing author and the wicked witch of the North East That Baum didn't write so much about in his Oz books is forever coming out with new literary tirades against those who, unlike herself, are not raised in families where you are constantly batted over the head with conservative ideals. She believes that everyone should be like herself: demeaning, mean spir...
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Breaking News...

Monsanto... Very Fishy Indeed!

After dumping two tons of genetically modified fish into the Atlantic, anyone henceforth fishing in any ocean or sea anywhere in the world will have to buy a licence from Monsanto ... or be sued.
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