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Showing articles written by evan keliher.


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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Hunting

Grandpa Ganja On Hunting

I used to hunt but I gave it up. I decided I just couldn't shoot poor Bambi, and the thought of blowing Thumper away is even more appalling. The furry and feathered creatures of the forest are safe from me and will remain so until I'm actually starving at which time I'll quickly revert to time-honored atavistic principles and happily shoot anything that moves and looks edible. It wasn't alwa...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Helmets and Bikers

Grandpa Ganja On Helmets and Bikers

California has a helmet law for motorcycle riders and a lot of bikers are pissed about it. They claim it interferes with their right to kill or maim themselves but that's not the whole truth. What really disturbs these guys is they don't like what it does to their image. See, bikers are macho guys, real men with so much excess testosterone in their systems they can import the stuff to less f...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 4

Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 4

Cheating - Since we're concerned here with truth rather than moral balderdash and buncombe let's take a close look at cheating generally and see what we're dealing with in the real world. Of course, there are a lot of people-mostly teachers-that think students shouldn't cheat on their exams, and they have some good reasons for thinking so. For one thing, if you cheat too much you run t...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 2-3

Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 2-3

Exams (See Grades) - Now that you've had a brief opening glimpse of the people who run the place and have the most to do with your overall ruin, you need to direct your attention to a matter that will cause you more trouble than any other in your high school career: exams and the attendant grades that accompany them. There are only a few kinds of basic formal examinations found in the average hig...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 1

Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide Ch. 1

The following is from my book Grandpa Ganja's High School Survival Guide. I propose to publish the entire book a chapter or two at a time. I'll stop if enough readers tell me to. TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction 1. The Teachers 2. Exams (See Grades) 3. Grades 4. Cheating 5. Counselors 6. Teachers, Wanton 7. Classroom Seating 8. Clubs 9. Gym 10.
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Guys and Guns

Grandpa Ganja On Guys and Guns

I decided the other day to buy a gun. I mean, from what I hear just about everyone else has a gun so I should have one, too. While I don't know anything about guns--I'm a registered pacifist--I knew I'd find something about 'em in the phone book and I was right. I learned we have enough gun shops in the area to outfit both sides in another Middle East war and I repaired to the one nearest my...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Politicians

Grandpa Ganja On Politicians

I have a confession to make. I don't like politicians. What's more, I don't trust them. Every one of them is shifty-eyed, you ever notice that? And there's a look in the eye of the average politician that would startle a shark. I don't like them because they're self-serving and greedy and disdainful. They hold their constituents in contempt and care nothing for their welfare except insofa...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Exercise

Grandpa Ganja On Exercise

History demonstrates that great societies are invariably overthrown from within and that external forces only succeed in conquering these great nations when they've been sufficiently weakened by their own foolhardiness. Witness Greece and the fall of Rome and a thousand others over the centuries. History repeats itself. Our country is in the very process of being weakened internally and prim...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Mini-Memoirs

Grandpa Ganja On Mini-Memoirs

I'm not sure memoirs are approved for publication but maybe it's okay if they're funny. I just thought some of my readers might wonder what's with the moniker and the story behind it might be of interest to them. For openers, I'm 78 years old and in a hurry because I could keel over deader than a mackerel at any moment and I have a lot to do before that happens. I've posted several articles in...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Miracles

Grandpa Ganja On Miracles

Why is it that nobody with any credibility ever sees a miracle? I mean, think about it. Miracles are always seen by eight-year-old peasant children playing in the Spanish countryside or illiterate farmhands with local reputations for lively imaginations and a fondness for the grape. They report sightings of saints and angels and blinding lights and weeping statues and other such phenomena wit...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Pornography

Grandpa Ganja On Pornography

Pornography is becoming more and more of an issue in the media-and in the minds of the people-and I say it's about time. Smut shops are on every corner. Naked bodies greet the eye everywhere one looks these days. Brazen centerfolds, dirty posters, and x-rated movies lure our unsuspecting youth to the worst kinds of degradation imaginable. Shocking! Well, if the public has been slow to come t...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Nautical Stuff

Grandpa Ganja On Nautical Stuff

A couple of years ago I decided I needed a hobby and it occurred to me it might be fun to own a boat so I went down to the boat store to look 'em over. One of 'em caught my eye right away. It was a trim little craft thirty-six feet long and capable of sleeping eight or so people depending on how big the people were. It had sails and a nifty cabin and even a full-sized pool table in the re...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Imagery

Grandpa Ganja On Imagery

We live in remarkable times, but they're also complicated times. Nothing is as simple as it once was. Take cars, for example. There was a time when a car was a fairly simple machine, one that could be understood by just about anybody who owned a pair of pliers and some baling wire. You ever look at a Model A engine? There's nothing there. An engine block, a few wires, some spark plugs and...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Traffic

Grandpa Ganja On Traffic

Look, the traffic problem is getting out of hand and something needs to be done about it. The time for talk is long past; it's time for action. Since no one else is doing anything about it, I've decided to fix it myself. So what is the problem? Easy. There are too many cars on too few freeways. It's that simple. Even public officials can understand it if they really concentrate. Solution?...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Crime in the Streets

Grandpa Ganja On Crime in the Streets

The crime stats are rising again in America. We've replaced prosperity with layoffs and falling stock markets and the newly unemployed crooks are reverting to their nefarious ways. We're engaged in a war against crime to add to all our other wars and this one isn't going too well, either. As a result, we're developing a loser's mentality. Take the war on drugs, for example. The politicos claim...
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Showing page 2 (of 2 pages)

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Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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