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Funny story: Are we ready for a Jewish Pope?

Are we ready for a Jewish Pope?

Dear Monsignori Vincenso, Thank you for your favorable response on the phone stating that a Jewish person can run for the Papacy. Naturally, I wish the Pope the greatest health, but the inevitable is inevitable, as it is said. (Leviticus 12.2) So, it is not to early to get my name before the public so I may get, as we say here, a ground swell. We discussed the economics and promotional...
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Funny story: Science Unlocks the Mysteries of Sexual Attraction

Science Unlocks the Mysteries of Sexual Attraction

Science proves what turns men on in women. It seems men check out women along the lines of reproductive fitness assessment. The five winning female traits are. 1. Wide Waist to Hips Ratio. Tarzan thinks: those big hips could pop out a dozen versions of me in a dozen years. I could have my own soccer team. 2. A High Pitched Voice. Tarzan thinks: I could make her squeal like a pig and al...
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Funny story: What kind of Facebook quizzer are you?

What kind of Facebook quizzer are you?

What kind of Facebook quizzer are you? Answer these simple questions to find out. 1. When you see a Facebook quiz to find out what kind of soap star, 1960s pop song, nineteenth century German philosopher or piece of bedroom furniture you are, do you... (a) Do it straight away and take it really seriously? (b) Do it straight away in an ironic way? (c) Skip it and write a facetious comment i...
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Funny story: The real housewives of Burns Park

The real housewives of Burns Park

My Dear, Dalorise. It is with a heavy heart I send this e-mail, we have been friends for so long, and I know you were having a hard time finding a parking spot in Whole Foods the other day so I'm sure you are already having a difficult week. However, It is my duty, as a mother, to address a very serious matter that will impact our daughters both. Yesterday, Katie came over to watch a mov...
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Funny story: New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

American Psychoanalysis Online Spring, 2015 by Giacomo Puccini, Contributing Editor Last week, for the first time in the state's history, Golden State's Gov. Jerry Brown imposed mandatory water restrictions, requiring all cities and towns to cut their water usage by 25 percent. The action was taken because California's reservoirs have about a year's worth of water left. Too, Groundwate...
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Funny story: Five Mistakes you Should Never Make at Work

Five Mistakes you Should Never Make at Work

1. Showing up there, unless you want to or need to. 2. Allowing yourself to be pissed upon from a great height by your boss. He/she is not your parent. He/ she doesn't know you. They only imagine they do. That is how they got to be boss in the first place. Like David Cameron got to be PM. 'Knows' everybody, does David. 3. Misunderstanding the true nature of the...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover How to "Turn a Woman On"

Scientists Discover How to "Turn a Woman On"

This is actually for real, an article recently reported in askmen.com. "Touch a woman's arm, give her a hug or make long eye contact with her if you want to increase your chances of turning her on. Show her your caring side, and prove that nice guys can sometimes finish first." So were the latest findings of that august institution devoted to human happiness and freedom ... The Rockefeller U...
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Funny story: Alistair Campbell Explain Why YOU Should be Voting

Alistair Campbell Explain Why YOU Should be Voting

I'm going to go to the polling station and choose the least despicable of x number cynical warmongers who are bombing people in other countries in the name of their own moral charisma and divine mission, destabilising entire regions purely in the name of their petty self-interest, and deliberately and maliciously placing the wellbeing lives of UK citizens at risk... But you don't go to the pol...
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Funny story: How Modern Art was Born

How Modern Art was Born

Many high-falutin' theories have been put forward as to the origins of modern art with its smoke-and-mirrors baloney authenticated and promoted by the nefarious ruling class doctrine they call "Post Modernism" which goes "be as mad as you want for nobody is sane". You know what 'great' art is because it offends little old ladies. Damien Hirst and friends are among its most lucrative aficionados.
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Funny story: Further to Mike Read Article: Nonsense Jokes About Nonsense UKIP

Further to Mike Read Article: Nonsense Jokes About Nonsense UKIP

Regarding my recent article on TheSpoof http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/magazine/13496/fasc-factor-mike-reads-bnp-nick-minaj-comeback-medley I have not seen any proof that Mike Read is a fascist or fascist sympathiser. And he does appear to have shown regret for the original UKIP Calypso; which is more than can be said for some. Yet, I felt that doing a send-off (WHOOPS!) of the w...
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Funny story: UK Urban Guest Spot (1/#1) DaveCam's Huggarappa Remix

UK Urban Guest Spot (1/#1) DaveCam's Huggarappa Remix

Back in the UK, it is not well good, but even it is not like the USA and the authentic hip-hop musics, our Dave has made a well good rap what is telling us what is what. Yo I'm Dave, got a Cam, and I like voting that way, Down from me crib in the commons, Lil bit o' wur, bit o' way, I'm like the common pleb's friend, endless key chain like a bell-end I've as many flashy chains a...
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Funny story: Fasc' Factor: Mike Read's BNP/Nick Minaj Comeback Medley

Fasc' Factor: Mike Read's BNP/Nick Minaj Comeback Medley

The thing about the greatest performing artists of all is that they never, EVER gave up. Regardless of practical setbacks, ridicule and open hostility, figures of the calibre of Ravi Shankar, Beethoven, Mick Jagger, the singers of "Moves like Jagger," Rihanna… Not to mention respected (sorry, respectable… no I mean, petty-bourgeois) protest guitarist Tony Blair… These have all consistentl...
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Funny story: UKIP's Tarquin Proclaimeth, Albion Fall Silent!

UKIP's Tarquin Proclaimeth, Albion Fall Silent!

Once, Tarquin Binnett warned us about the damage idle female bishops are doing to all our bathrooms, summoning divine flood-vengeance upon our Englishmen's castles, and leaving the floors wet and untidy. But what about the terrible gay warming crisis? You know, there is a very serious problem with gay warming these days. It weren't the same when I were growing up. I mean, there was alway...
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Funny story: Science Fiction Versus Political Fiction

Science Fiction Versus Political Fiction

Warning: Chance Discovery of Future Now Securely Archived Past, present and future are ever-present, as the tinpot Eliots among us will no doubt affirm. The future is documented already, but little more can be said for it than this. Still, there is at least one "consolation of misosophy." To wit: The prying pleb hands of prying plebs (who arrogantly demand "freeloader user status"...
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Funny story: Hotel Kathmandu - New Movie.

Hotel Kathmandu - New Movie.

Hotel Kanthmandu is the new movie starring Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Alyvia Alyn Lind is due for release next month. Here is a preview. Dr. Peter Tumble (Brad) is an eminent seismologist working for The U.S. Geological Survey (USGS). He is married to successful fiction writer Janine Prowling. The union alas is childless. And they are experiencing additional stress in their marriage for...
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Funny story: Trouble In Downing Street (Part One)

Trouble In Downing Street (Part One)

There's an atmosphere in Downing Street that no one can deny, Outside the sound of "Tories out!" The public now does cry … The cabinet are speechless, and the PM seems quite glum, He turns now to George Osborne (who used to be his chum) "Well now George, what can we do?" "To regain all lost pride?" The secretary for defense advised that they should "Hide", George now opened up his mouth and...
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Funny story: Movie Review: Adam Sandler's "The Ridiculous 6"

Movie Review: Adam Sandler's "The Ridiculous 6"

Although Adam Sandler has made a lot of ridiculous movies, The Ridiculous 6 is his most ridiculous yet. And this film is very offensive, too, making it about as funny as Charles Manson wielding an AR-15. The exclusive film carrier - Netflix - along with Sandler, and at least one other member of the cast, Vanilla Ice, seem to have a insouciant attitude about this matter, but many American Indian...
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Funny story: (The) News (Really) Bytes - April 2015

(The) News (Really) Bytes - April 2015

The Aurora Joker James Holmes trial finally begins three years after his attack at the premier of a new Batman movie that killed twelve people - Could we just have Batman seal him up in a forgotten part of the Batcave and save us the expense of having to take care of him for the rest of his demented life? Turkey, still denying the massacre of millions of Armenians 100 years ago, decides...
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Funny story: Letter of Recommendation for Fledgling AA Member

Letter of Recommendation for Fledgling AA Member

April 27, 2015 To Whom It May Concern: Hello, my name is Anomny S., and I am Claire's sponsor in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Claire asked me to write this letter to provide proof of her involvement in AA to assist the judge make a favorable determination in her case. I am bound by honesty, to myself and to my higher power, which I have found through The Program. With that...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises Tara McClosoff From The Isle Of Wight On Showing Off Her Pubic Hairs

Auntie Jean Advises Tara McClosoff From The Isle Of Wight On Showing Off Her Pubic Hairs

Tara: Auntie Jean, On the T.V. programmes; "Hotel Inspector" and "How Clean is Your House", I have often seen the presenters, AIexi Poliizei and Aggie McKensit remove feral pubic hairs from beds, showers and baths etc. with tweezers and put them into plastic bags. The sound on my T.V. does not work, so I have long presumed that presenters such as AIexi Poliizei are collectors of pubic hairs. Co-...
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Funny story: None of Your Goddam Business!

None of Your Goddam Business!

Two strangers meet in a bar and get to talking. The following 'conversation' took place. 1. What is your name? 2. Mathew. 1. Mother's maiden name? 2. Coyle. 1. Where do you live? 2. I live in Madison Drive, Wisconsin. 1. If I said I wanted an aerial photo of your house what would you say? 2. Where I live is none of your business. 1. If I asked you how you got it, when you got it...
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Funny story: The Election Part Two

The Election Part Two

Part two of our look at the candidates in the upcoming election has us conducting a interview round the back of the houses of Parliament. Inside a large bin where the Lib Dems have their campaign headquarters and we were ushered inside by a blind man being led by another blind man. Nick Clegg was seated on stool made of the last elections manifesto, it looked hollow. He seemed pleased to see us...
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Showing page 1 (of 436 pages)

Breaking News...

Monsanto... Very Fishy Indeed!

After dumping two tons of genetically modified fish into the Atlantic, anyone henceforth fishing in any ocean or sea anywhere in the world will have to buy a licence from Monsanto ... or be sued.
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