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Funny story: Trump Explains Why He is Running the Country Like His Old TV Show

Trump Explains Why He is Running the Country Like His Old TV Show

Donald "President" Trump sat down with Faux & Friends today and talked about and explained his governing style. "I try to be the person the American public wants me to be. I know most people know me from my TV program, the Apprentice, which is only a good show if I'm in it by the way, just look at the ratings when they tried to get AHNOLD to play me." "So, in my program, I always fire pe...
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Funny story: Endangered Engagements

Endangered Engagements

Donald Trump. For legal purposes we have to point out, again, that this man is the current President of the United States. Mr Trump has decreed that 25 of the most endangered species in the world no longer need the USA's conservation efforts. Below we obtained the list and his reasons why. 1. Pacific Walrus: Quite like seals and we have loads of them. No one would wake up one morning and go...
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Funny story: Charter School Conglomerate to run Bankrupt City

Charter School Conglomerate to run Bankrupt City

Reliable but unnamed sources at the California state capital insist that AB 46, Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon's bill to disincorporate the nearly bankrupt industrial city of Vernon, contains a secret clause. According to a highly placed aide in the Speaker's office, interviewed under an assurance of anonymity, the final version of the bill will turn Vernon over to Green Dot, the charter school o...
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Funny story: Political Twisties

Political Twisties

In the latest twist to what some are calling a political crisis but others recognise as insanity two world leaders have started calling each other names. In the grand scheme of things Trump and UN aren't going to remembered as being the foremost political minds of their generation. To be fair they'll be lucky to be remembered as having minds if they carry on the way they are. Donald Trump has...
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Funny story: Jacob Rees-Mogg's Adventures in the 21st Century

Jacob Rees-Mogg's Adventures in the 21st Century

Salutations from your 18th century toff pal, Jacob Rees-Mogg. I have been living in the 21st Century for fifteen years now. I fell asleep in a glacier over two centuries ago and miraculously re-awoke to a world I barely recognise. I now live with my wife, seven children and a robot butler called Siri, but I still struggle with simple tasks like changing a nappy. This is my story. I wish I co...
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Funny story: Living In Skagway, Alaska Means Wearing Extra Tuff Boots As Your Main Footwear.

Living In Skagway, Alaska Means Wearing Extra Tuff Boots As Your Main Footwear.

Living in Skagway, Alaska means - Having to buy used boots that are too big at the only thrift store in town after your old ones rot from all the rain and no place in town sells new shoes. Buying lettuce and milk that are already a week old because all the food comes up on a barge from Seattle. And it only comes once a week. Having the choice to go by either boat or plane to Juneau to get...
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Funny story: The Magic of Middleton

The Magic of Middleton

If you're British (we know you are if you're reading one of our pieces, there was one Finnish guy that read one and he died! Our work doesn't seem to translate well for international audiences) you will know that the Royal Family are better than you and Kate Middleton is certainly better than you and whatever shit you do. Speculation is rife with how Kate manages to look so young and unflustered e...
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Funny story: Corn on the Mogg

Corn on the Mogg

Politics is an ever evolving organism that lives, breaths, pulses and shits. My God does it shit. Occasionally it strains and pushes and forces out a smear so bad that it becomes self-aware and joins the party that shat it out. Out of the anus of the Tory Party has crawled one of these. In the spirit of maintaining political neutrality Back and to the Left news bagged ourselves an interview wi...
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Funny story: Death on the Back Nine - Approaching that Final Hole

Death on the Back Nine - Approaching that Final Hole

As my friends grow older - we're all in our 80s now - the sportsmen among us like to compare aging to the back nine of golf. Instead of confronting the obvious but unspoken end of game event, they suggest ways to make the back nine of life productive and worthwhile. Although life may move at a slower pace, a birdie on one of the last nine holes may be more satisfying than one made earlier. But w...
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Funny story: Poll Reveals that 45% of Americans Think They Will Wake Up and the Entire Trump Presidential Term Will Have Been a Dream

Poll Reveals that 45% of Americans Think They Will Wake Up and the Entire Trump Presidential Term Will Have Been a Dream

Online and in-person surveys have mostly agreed on the percentage of Americans who cannot believe what is happening since Trump started running for President. "Things just started getting more and more unreal. First there was the nomination campaign which was surrealistic. Then there was the press, which wouldn't stop covering Trump just like one would watch a train wreck. But the train made i...
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Funny story: An Interview with Geoff Orill, Satirist

An Interview with Geoff Orill, Satirist

Today I had the pleasure of talking to Mr Geoff Orill, renowned political satirist, about his latest book "They're All C*nts". Me: Mr Orill, what was the idea behind this story? Geoff: Well, Geoffroy, I imagined a world in which Daily Mail readers had been given the vote, and the horrors that could be unleashed when an incompetent government held a referendum on a very contentious but import...
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Funny story: Angler Merkel

Angler Merkel

Angler Merkel She keeps the European Union a float Though she has been known to rock the boat She's not likely to flounder as any Turk'll Tell you. That fisherwoman, Angler Merkel She brings wayward party members to eel She likes to mullet over when she does a deal She doesn't talk pollocks when she faces a hurdle Like a bream of light is Angler Merkel As Chancellor she haddock clea...
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Funny story: Lisa and Ilsa's Titillating Spring Break

Lisa and Ilsa's Titillating Spring Break

"This is a really dumb idea... and it was mine!" Lisa said, turning to Ilsa as they entered the fraternity house through an unlocked back door. "I think it's cool, Lisa." Ilsa didn't hesitate, being especially careful to close the door quietly. "But if the place is deserted why are we being so quiet?" "The boys are gone but the housemother is probably still here during spring recess if she c...
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Funny story: Gay for a Day Spray

Gay for a Day Spray

Introducing Gay for a Day Spray. Guys, have you ever wanted to go on a date, and no woman was available? This is the solution, Gay for a Day Spray. Just spray it on and you become so fabulous. Guys around you will seem so cute! Do note that this product is intended for men age 18 and older and is not sold in stores. This could increase your risk of becoming the victim of a hate crime, so protec...
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Funny story: How "Miss Big Words" found Her Secret Love

How "Miss Big Words" found Her Secret Love

Place: Lynwood Junior High, Lynwood, CA Time: Spring, 1943, during World War II Situation: 8th grade English Class ______________ Teacher: "Class, what is the subject of most popular songs? They are often called BALLADS." [writes that word on blackboard]. "The kind of song Bing Crosby would sing." Roger: "Most of them are about war!" Teacher: "Well, Roger, you are partially right. That...
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Funny story: No Matter How You Slice It, Surgical Blunders Are On The Rise

No Matter How You Slice It, Surgical Blunders Are On The Rise

For those of you scheduled to undergo surgery in the near future, you might want to add a few items to your hospital overnight ditty bag. In addition to the usual stash of toothpaste, toothbrush, rosary beads, rabbits foot, Heineken, magazines and Fig Newtons, be sure to include the following: Magic Markers, pens, spray paint, Crayolas, road flares, neon arrows, and a flashing "This End Up" sign.
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Funny story: Has LAPD Really Changed Under Chief Beck?

Has LAPD Really Changed Under Chief Beck?

Los Angeles police chief Charlie Beck was repeatedly interrupted by a small, unruly group of protesters at a press conference last night as he calmly justified the latest shooting of a suspect by his officers. Beck's explanation seemed to satisfy veteran crime reporters present, who have heard the chief repeatedly offer the same explanation - "officers feared for their lives" - at every other suc...
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Funny story: Professor Henry Higgins Takes Donald Trump In Hand

Professor Henry Higgins Takes Donald Trump In Hand

"Now, Donald, I have prepared a few simple exercises for you [handing him a printed card]. Start at the top, and read all the way through." "I condemn the racists and neo-nazis and white supremacists who . . . Listen, I know that the fake media want to distort everything I say . . ." "No, no, no! That is unacceptable. You absolutely must stay on message. Start over from the beginning."...
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Funny story: Mindless Pirate

Mindless Pirate

Some people think he is a senseless pirate with nothing on his mind but broads and booty. They say that he never thinks of anyone besides himself and would walk over his mother to obtain a chance of winning a silver dollar. His mother to this day claims he is an orphan even after the DNA test proved she is his biological mother. His teeth are green and full of holes so the grimy lemon pulp and wat...
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Funny story: Courage Under Nuclear Fallout

Courage Under Nuclear Fallout

The Dopes were still alive and moved into the once-vacant fallout shelter in our next door neighbor's yard. How I wish they didn't survive the economic collapse, food crisis, power grid failure, nuclear radiation, radioactive ticks, acid banana cream pie rain, unselfies, or the pepperoni yogurt shortage. They are so awkward and strange. Who comes over to their neighbor's house and says, "Hi! How a...
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Funny story: Dear Santa

Dear Santa

January 12, 2016 Dear Santa, Hey Santa. Ever since I moved out of my parents' house in 1998 I noticed that you stopped coming to my place. I'm a 35 year old man, but this I don't understand! You came every year when I lived with mom and dad, but now that have my own apartment, you don't show. At one point, I almost stopped believing in you! I have been hoping that you are very busy and will ge...
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Funny story: Why The London Gazette Rejected "A Modest Proposal"

Why The London Gazette Rejected "A Modest Proposal"

From: Editor, The London Gazette To: Jonathan Swift Subj.: Your Submission Dear Mr. Swift: Thank you for your recent submission of "A Modest Proposal" to the Opinion pages of The London Gazette. The piece was a most interesting read. Unfortunately, we are unable to use it. We wish you well in finding a place for it elsewhere. We normally do not respond to unsolicited submissions, but in...
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Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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