Showing page 1 (of 432 pages)
Funny story: The Royal Family at Christmas

The Royal Family at Christmas

We've listed just a few of their exhausting activities at Christmas: 1. Christmas Eve : Up to (and including ), a whole 20 minutes of smiling and waving at Windsor Castle Boot - Sale ( includes exercising British Restraint and not haggling over cut - price Tinsel ) 2 . Sampling Local's Mince Pies with a hard - to -manoeuver plastic fork at Balmoral 3 . Nodding and more smiling/ waving...
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Funny story: Yoga Newbie Finds Confidence Boost in Her Overweight Classmates

Yoga Newbie Finds Confidence Boost in Her Overweight Classmates

After undertaking an intimidating new pastime, Vinyasa-style yoga, 28-year-old Jessica Dyer found a surefire way to bolster her confidence: the fat chicks in her yoga class. Jessica, a longtime resident of New York City's East Village, explained that the challenges of living in Manhattan's hottest 'hood, together with her utter lack of any natural adeptness at yoga, had put her generally solid...
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Funny story: 2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

The GOP platform that will be ratified by the 2016 Presidential Nominating Convention is now complete. Since the last convention, selected Congressional Republicans and State Party Chairs have been diligently working. According to insider reports, these are its major points: 1. We stand for the principles of torture, particularly rectal hydration. 2. We believe that rich donors should dramat...
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Funny story: Why the religious far right are targeting transgender people

Why the religious far right are targeting transgender people

A few years ago, the religious far right in America targetted gay people. They were classed as an abomination in the eyes of god, but in the last eighteen months, focus has shifted onto the transgender population instead. At first glance there does not seem to be a reason for this. The transgender men and women are trying to eke out lives the best they can in a binary gender weighted world,...
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Funny story: Town plans drone kill

Town plans drone kill

According to an internet report, residents of Menace, Minnesota, passed an ordinance making drone hunting legal. This intrigued me, so I placed a call to the mayor of Menace. "Mr. Mayor," I said, " tell me about your plan to hunt drones." "Well, it's really pretty simple. "We are going to issue hunting licenses and then shoot those intrusive little bastards out of the sky."...
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Funny story: Archaeologists Find Letter from Pontius Pilate

Archaeologists Find Letter from Pontius Pilate

Archaeologists excavating along the North West coast of Palestine close to where Pontius Pilate had his palace have made a remarkable find. It is a letter written on papyrus. Experts are not sure if it is a copy or not. Was it ever sent? Did Tiberius Caesar read it and respond? If not, we could well be living now in a very different world indeed. Because what they unearthed is a letter from Po...
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Funny story: Jesus's Lost Parable Found

Jesus's Lost Parable Found

The Synod of Hippo in AD 393 was a gathering of Catholic bishops who established the contents of the Bible. A definitive list of books now currently in use did not come into existence until the Council of Trent (1545-63) was set up to counteract the Reformation by bringing clarity to the Church's teaching. Biblical scholar Dr. Flynn O'Toole from Trinity College Dublin while doing research on t...
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Funny story: "Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

"Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

Ari Alterman has added yet another blockbuster movie to his long string of successes in a career spanning twenty-five years. "Well Connected" that has a strong magical theme has a sterling cast with Clint Eastwood taking a small role with Beyonce. It is produced by Ari Alterman, directed by Lilith Alterman and sees the acting debut of Judith Alterman. The script was written by son Zac under...
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Funny story: Experience pleasure

Experience pleasure

Everything that exists in the universe is a part of nature, and therefore can be explained by material causes. Consequently, it would be misinformation to resort to supernatural, spiritual or paranormal cause to explain natural phenomena. According to Wikipedia, euphoria is a 'medically recognized mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of well-being, elati...
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Funny story: CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

"Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response"--By Dr. Gunter Chang, Director of Cognitive Studies at the Central Intelligence Agency, August 2003. Abstract: Research in the area of the psychic science lags considerably behind other research fields primarily due to lack of reproducible quantitative data obtained under controlled conditions. In an effort to establ...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Nellie Asks: Auntie, I have received my D.A.B. 3D digital radio from the internet which arrived on a low loader this morning. I would appreciate a little help with tuning it as the instructions are inadequately translated from Mandarin Chinese. It has what it describes as a 2.3 metre plasma screen. I had to cut a hole in my trailer park home to get it in. It keeps blowing the park substatio...
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Funny story: Butt Burn at Paris Underwear Festival

Butt Burn at Paris Underwear Festival

At this year's Paris Underwear Festival, I caught up with Baxter Brief Ceo Barry Boxer. "Barry," I said, I would like to congratulate you and the whole gang at Baxter Brief for taking the tags out of your underwear." "Thanks, it was a massive undertaking." "Why do you think getting rid of underwear tags is so darn important?" "Underwear tags lead to butt burn, and butt burn is the leading...
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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
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Funny story: The Greatest Action Movie Ever.

The Greatest Action Movie Ever.

The film is about a young world middleweight boxing champion Lance O'Flynn who is also a black belt in Karate and who gets conscripted by MI6 to be trained as a special agent. He shows himself a willing pupil and quickly masters seven languages plus quantum physics. His handsome Irish good looks and natural intelligence, as well as his ability to read the Kama Sutra in Urdu, make him a wow wit...
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Funny story: Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

It's the festive season again, and who could fail to be excited by the never-ending stream of Christmas songs blaring from shops, radios and people's throats. Christmas music is Britain's favourite music genre, and every year millions of us buy copies of our favourite Christmas songs so that we can listen to them all year long. Here we provide a countdown of the 5 best Christmas songs. 5.
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Funny story: Bring Back The Guillotine

Bring Back The Guillotine

This countries a mess. There we said it. But it's not our opinion, but the opinion of the man on the street. The white van mad man, the market trader and the pub landlord all agree. But why is it a mess and what are the solutions, we don't know, shit we cant remember where we let the dog off it's lead last. That dam terrier could be anywhere. Anyway we grabbed a bunch of people off the street (...
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Funny story: CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

I'm so lucky to be a CAPTCHA program. Y'know one of those little thingies that won't let you operate on a website unless you prove that you're human. I absolutely LOVE my job. The irony of the situation tickles me. Love it, love it, love it -- that a human has to communicate with a machine in order to prove his or her humanity. LOL! Most of the time I do my gatekeeper job diligently. But eve...
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Funny story: Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Almost New York - The judge in the Eric Gardner police brutality case put a lid on the release of evidence and souvenir transcripts used by the grand jury to reach its mystifying decision. Good thing we had our judicial fly on the wall to listen in on juror comments. Here are some of their choice remarks: "I'm glad I live on an island." "If he wanted to breathe, he should've brought alon...
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Funny story: The Virtue Agency - Manhattan

The Virtue Agency - Manhattan

THE VIRTUE AGENCY (Derived from the book "Travels with Li Po"...copyrighted) A new agency has opened up in Manhattan, New York. Called THE VIRTUE AGENCY.. it deals with... yes, you guessed it... the marketing of virtue. Our reporter from "Lights Out", visited the towering skyscraper that is the agency's new home. It has a workforce of over a hundred and has plans for offices throughout the...
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Funny story: Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

There has been a tidal wave of reaction from around the world to renowned physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking's statement that "the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race." Here are some of the responses: President Barack Obama: "I am surprised at Prof. Hawkings; the statement is most illogical." US Politico Sarah Palin: "They will have to learn to...
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Funny story: A Christmas Message from Bono 2014

A Christmas Message from Bono 2014

Hello Hello, Dis year I have been busy saving the world again. My friend and fellow tax exile Sir Bob let me sing on Band Aid again. So that I could start in my new mission to eradicate Ebola. I think I will have this all cured by Christmas, but I will be promoting my other things as well. I now have a rival, Russell Brand, who thinks he can be the saviour of the world. He can't there is on...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Les Brains Asks: Auntie Jean, I was dropped on my head by the midwife as a baby and consequently cannot make any decisions and have no moral fibre. I can't tell right from wrong , am dishonest and selfish and frequently accidentally wear my jacket inside out. I have an appointment with the Career Adviser at school tomorrow and would like to ask about a career. Which should I choose? Auntie Jea...
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Showing page 1 (of 432 pages)

Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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