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Funny story: IntCom Guerilla (Parody of Hawkind: Urban Guerilla)

IntCom Guerilla (Parody of Hawkind: Urban Guerilla)

I'm an IntCom guerrilla Trade wars to the highest seller I'm a tinpot Godzilla Universal kiddy-killer I'm a street-bombing prancer A global-heating moral cancer A swift-declining Panzer Double-serpent-tongued pretender But let's not talk about peace and ethics And kids that don't explode We're losing all of our respect and honoUr Universal chaos motherlode, yeah baby A humanitari...
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Funny story: Bust Size & Tips

Bust Size & Tips

Every waitress wants TIPS. The American scientist Michael Lynn conducted a study of 482 waitresses at the age of 18 years and older. Waitresses rated themselves and answer the following questions: 1. In what year were you born? 2. What is your bra size? 3. What color is your hair? 4. How big around is your waist? 5. How big around are your hips? 6. How tall are you? 7. How much do you...
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Funny story: The Unhappy Famous

The Unhappy Famous

Suicide bombers' favourite magazine "What-Makes-U-Tick" recently did a biographical study of the rich and famous. It is soon to be made into a fifteen part Television Series by CNN. It appears that few, if any of them, were actually happy with their station in life. Envied by millions all over the world, yet they felt they would have been much happier as somebody else. The article titled "...
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Funny story: Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

What to do in the Grand Canyon if: you are confronted by a black bear- Calmly stand your ground and fight back. Do not run as they will chase you. a rock slide occurs above you- Quickly try to determine where the rock slide is coming down and run horizontally in the opposite direction. you are walking along the street and a car with California rental license plates is coming towards you...
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Funny story: Cookie Monster Warns Democrats About "Coded Speciesism"

Cookie Monster Warns Democrats About "Coded Speciesism"

Semi-Humorous Disclaimer: No disrespect to Jim Henson Production Intended. I always used to love Sesame Street, so this, in a way, is my small tribute to my old friends; and this one was my best buddy of all. And I think it's important to remember (regardless of what some journalists from famous non-satire outlet Fox News might say) that the Cookie Monster, Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and others are...
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Funny story: God Must be Hispanic If he Named His Only Son Jesus

God Must be Hispanic If he Named His Only Son Jesus

Wow - I just realized that God has to be Hispanic! I mean - otherwise he would have named his only kid God Junior or at least some common name of those times- like Joshua or Peter or Moishe -any thing but Jesus(unless he was Hispanic). What made me think of this was I was watching the Los Angeles marathon last week and at least fifty percent of the people had to be Hispanic -and at least fif...
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Funny story: White Power morons march in Manchester!

White Power morons march in Manchester!

Now in a city normally divided by red and blue, a bunch of Nazi skinheads thought it would be prudent to introduce a slightly paler colour to the place by marching through the city claiming White Power is not dead! Please excuse me if I am wrong, but we are now in 2015 and not 1966, etc. We live in a multi-culti world that has been enhanced by Asian, African, Arabian, etc, ethnic minorities int...
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Funny story: My Election Thoughts

My Election Thoughts

I know you have all been waiting for this announcement before deciding how to vote in the next election, so - now is the time to give you the guidance needed to secure the future of the British Empire. We owe it to Nelson and to Wellington - the eye, arm and boot of our glorious history - to keep right on to the end of the road. Now looking at the riders in the forthcoming contest we can see...
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Funny story: Dictators respond to Cheney's "Worst President" Comments

Dictators respond to Cheney's "Worst President" Comments

Dick Cheney has said that Obama is the worst President of his lifetime. Here are a few responses: Pol Pot stated: "I agree, and I often do agree with Cheney anyway. And I feel the same way about Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh was an evil bastard. I mean, look what he did to the boat people. And look at how he humiliated the former landowning class. Anyone who would massacre innocent people on the gro...
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Funny story: Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Apparently, because Theresa May is from the Conservative Party, she has the dispiriting responsibility of reluctantly assimilating individuals in a rather more blunt and crude way than Labour or Lib Dems. So she has sworn to "engage with the moderate homosexual community," in order to ensure that gay people do not cause any more "chaos, subversion and aesthetic terrorism." As a Conservative,...
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Funny story: 14 Amazing Cleaning Powers of Coca Cola You Didn't Know About

14 Amazing Cleaning Powers of Coca Cola You Didn't Know About

The president of Coca Cola, John Pemberton began travelling the United States of America in 1886 to introduce pharmacists to a drink that will later on come to be one of the most popular and loved drinks in the world. But at the time Coca Cola was meant to be a medical substance that relieves headaches and other minor pains. Nowadays Coca Cola has became one of the world's most powerful brands.
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Funny story: Francis Urquhart Disdains to Join UKIP

Francis Urquhart Disdains to Join UKIP

The sinister, Machiavellian Francis Urquhart, from the original UK version of "House of Cards," has disappointed all 101 UKIP supporters, by declining to join Naughty Nigel's hipster politico rhetorical hobby club. Our Frankie sneers: I may have ruined the life and career of a perfectly principled and honorable politician; I may have connived my way into establishing an 11 year reign of ter...
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Funny story: Want to be Rich?

Want to be Rich?

In a recent survey of successful people UR-FUKT Magazine discovered what it takes to really "be somebody". Business editor Eileen Dover said she was amazed at just how many beliefs the rich and powerful had in common, many of them held with passionate conviction. So here is a compilation of ten of their responses for your inspiration. 1. Never give a sucker an even break. You do people...
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Funny story: Mormons have The Best Bullshit Ever!

Mormons have The Best Bullshit Ever!

The Mormons are converting wide eyed believers all over the Globe -Yep the poor illiterate third world folks are eating up the Moronic tale concocted by their snake oil salesman founder Joe (the cousin humper) Smith like candy. -They are the fastest growing religion which only proves: That the Christians had a great thing going with Christ and redemption BUT -you add some Golden Tablets and...
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Funny story: New York Babies Start Yakking at Birth

New York Babies Start Yakking at Birth

A seven-week old baby who said HELLO has become a worldwide sensation, but New Yorkers are unimpressed. That's because it's always been rumored that New York babies, when no one is around, start yakking shortly after leaving the womb. An intrepid reporter from TheSpoof.com decided to test the truth of the rumor by setting up a hidden video cam in a nursery for newborns at a NY hospital. It turn...
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Funny story: This Week's Headline Snidbits

This Week's Headline Snidbits

Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
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Funny story: Yorkshire Psalms: Psalm 23

Yorkshire Psalms: Psalm 23

'Em Lord is us shepherd; us shall not lack. 'E shall make us to be lyin' down in all 'em pastures green, aye lad; 'e is leadin' at me beside all 'em still waters, oo eck! 'E has been revivin' at us Northern Souls; 'im guides me in all them paths of rahteousness for 'is name's sake 'n' that. Aye, though I shall be walkin' through 'em valley of that shadow of death, as it were; I shall not...
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Funny story: 10 Things You Need to Know About Donald Trump's Presidential Run

10 Things You Need to Know About Donald Trump's Presidential Run

Atlantic City, New Jersey -- Casino kingpin and reality TV star Donald Trump has put together an "exploratory committee" that will help him determine whether or not to run for President. Here are 10 things you have to look forward to if the panel gives him the green light: 1. His wig will have its own motorcade. 2. Expressing a preference for staying alive, Trump refuses Secret Service prote...
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Funny story: Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain "bad folks" pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he's not been shy to get to the root of the problem. Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations.... Well, you'...
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Funny story: Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton Connection Suspected In Emails

Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton Connection Suspected In Emails

Republican politicians claim Hillary Clinton had a love connection with Osama Bin Laden and define her as a serial traitor. High five! They insist this information can be verified in the 31,000 emails exchanged while she was Secretary of State and why she is holding fast to that server. Reliable sources revealed Hillary was in the process of divorcing Bill to marry Osama Bin Laden, (or...
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Funny story: (The) News (Really) Bytes - March

(The) News (Really) Bytes - March

57 Republican Senators have sent a letter to the Iranian government stating that "all of Obama's efforts to create a truce between them and us is in vain because when they get back in power they will make them great, horrible enemies again so that their armaments keepers will still give them kickbacks". Way to go guys! It wasn't bad enough that you made Obama look bad by inviting that Yahoo nam...
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Funny story: Earth Women flock to Vulcan

Earth Women flock to Vulcan

Spock's recent funeral in the ancient city of Kir, on the planet Vulcan, drew millions of mourners. In particular, there was a contingent of human females, clad in black Federation mini-dresses, who seemed particularly distraught at the passing of Earth's favorite Vulcan. One woman's lament seemed to typify the sentiment shared by all of the Earth women in attendance: "No man, human, Vulcan, Ro...
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Bush Copyright

George Bush Senior has taken out copyright on the phrase "New World Order" that he made popular. Anybody using the phrase without his permission will be sued.
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