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Funny story: Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen

Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen

We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it. "Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why...
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Funny story: Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

The following is based on an actual conversation between two 10 year-old Irish kids on the problems posed by the difficult theory of reincarnation. Charles' dad is into Buddhism, Phil's parents are Catholics. They both attend the same school....a Catholic school. Phil: Why do we have to die? Charles: So's we can come back. Phil: Back here? What for? Charles: So that we can become gooder...
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Funny story: The Good Old Days - An email from 1914

The Good Old Days - An email from 1914

Fw: Fwd: THE YEAR IS 1914 People Leon and Ramona Frankamp Today at 9:53 AM To Undisclosed-Recipient@ From: Preston > Subject: FW: THE YEAR IS 1914 > > > > > > > > > THE YEAR IS 1914 > >...
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Funny story: Everything you thought you already knew about Life

Everything you thought you already knew about Life

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning. Life- The commitment you don't remember having agreed to. Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again. Life- A pain in the ass that doesn't limit itself to just that area. Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths. Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to reco...
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Funny story: Facebook junkie believes deleting his page is not an option anymore

Facebook junkie believes deleting his page is not an option anymore

After a brief profile re-vamp, it was clear to John McCarthy, 24, that he is a well-respected man. He had received a monstrous 27 likes in two hours when he changed his profile picture a few days ago. It was clear to John that more than just a select few from his friends list (which includes his parents), have a close connection with him. "I felt very emotional knowing that so many people cared...
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Funny story: Mitch McConnel Calls for Vulgar Straight Talk With Obama

Mitch McConnel Calls for Vulgar Straight Talk With Obama

Senate Speaker Mitch McConnell speaking today, published verbatim. The president and I should start "Straight Talking" with one another and cut the crap! Look - everyone knows I'm a straight shooter - and so let's just cut the crap and have some conversations with each other that most Americans,and especially southern conservative can really relate to and understand! For example - Barak -...
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Funny story: British Gas Price War

British Gas Price War

Like most of your houses the Back and to the Left offices are freezing cold. With no windows and gas prices higher than our defence lawyer on day two of our fraud trial, it's a recipe for disaster or hypothermia whichever one claims us first. But help is on the way after British Gas said they would be cutting their prices by 5% and it is hoped that the other companies will follow suit. We spoke...
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Funny story: Blunts and 40s party kicks off MLK, Jr. Day celebration

Blunts and 40s party kicks off MLK, Jr. Day celebration

Spark that blunt, pass the Milwaukee's, and certainly don't pay that child support. It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everybody! Which means it's time to extol everything and all things black. No wonder no one goes to work or school on MLK Day! So fill your morning today with a tri-marathon of the Friday movies, maybe hit Church's for lunch, and make overtures towards the next fine as...
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Funny story: Gun-Nut Confession Sheds Light on These Sad Defective Men

Gun-Nut Confession Sheds Light on These Sad Defective Men

I have a locker full of guns and ammo. I spend hours every week cleaning my beautiful weapons and reading about guns and ammo. I spend hours at the range shooting and in the woods shooting stuff and then in the bar talking with my gun nut buddies and on line telling gun control folks to fuck off. At night, I just love to look and fondle my guns and when I am in bed I dream about using them to...
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Funny story: Best Torture for Terrorists - Nagging American Women!

Best Torture for Terrorists - Nagging American Women!

Terrorists treat their women like dogs. As a result, they have NO idea how viscous a nagging wife can be -especially a good old fashioned average "American Nagging Wife" (I don't include girlfriend nagging, just as viscious, because terrorists don't have girlfriends - that would imply courtship, and options for the women.) You put a suspected terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging Amer...
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Funny story: 2015 News Bulletins - Long Overdue Ironic Justice!

2015 News Bulletins - Long Overdue Ironic Justice!

Senator Jim Inhofe falls through Thin Ice and Drowns near home in Oklahoma Bible belting head of Energy he wrote an entire book calling global warming "the greatest hoax." -His wife said "I told him that lake was not freezing like it used to. Sarah Palin found Drunk in Cheap Hotel with Two Eskimo Men Sherrif Oonji Bata of the remote Eskimo Village on lake Anjikuni said "Local fisherman he...
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Funny story: The Young Folks

The Young Folks

I would love to be able to engage with the young people in my office. They always seem to be having so much fun and glow with the enthusiastic energy of a supernova. At times it's like watching an advert for the upswing of a bipolar disorder. They constantly chatter about something really exciting they have done, or are going to do. Or where they went the previous night, or are going tonig...
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Funny story: Urban Legend Series: If the Shoe Fits, Wear It

Urban Legend Series: If the Shoe Fits, Wear It

Part 1 of a new series! Every episode we will examine an old adage to see if it's true or just an urban legend. This pilot episode has us examining the old adage "If the shoe fits, wear it." To test this hypothesis we advertised for people to help test shoes. To no one's surprise the response was overwhelmingly female, overruling the planned Payless Shoes Expedition with one to Nieman Marcus...
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Funny story: Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

"Pope Francis has defended freedom of expression following last week's attack on French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo - but also stressed its limits. The Pontiff said religions had to be treated with respect, so that people's faiths was not insulted or ridiculed. To illustrate his point, he told journalists that his assistant could expect a punch if he cursed his mother." (BBC report)...
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Funny story: Conversation between an Evangelical Bible Belting Schmuck and a Neuroscientist

Conversation between an Evangelical Bible Belting Schmuck and a Neuroscientist

Idiot: "God created the brain in seven days y'all!" Neuroscientist: "Y'all are a schmuck!" 1. The keys to modern biology were not delivered by genome sequencing, but by a series of prior conceptual advances (Darwin, Mendel, Fisher, Morgan, Crick etc). 2. Tracing wires in 3 dimensions to learn how neurons are connected is overkill: like genome sequencing by X-ray crystallography. Almost al...
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Funny story: Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

The three Islamic assassins who killed French citizens at Charlie Hebdo and a Jewish delicatessen arrive at the destination they had given their lives for, the Jihadist heaven promised them. An angel greets them as they arrive. "Welcome gentlemen. I hope your journey was peaceful." "Hardly!" stated Said Kouachi sarcastically. "We got our shit shot to pieces." "You can say that again." Sai...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News

Isle of Wight News

4 REASONS WHY ISLAND LIFE IS BETTER THAN MAINLAND: 1: Islands tend to be windswept, with supplies often being cut - off, this affords oblivion to Modern Reality. 2: Some islands, Alderney, Guernsey and others, prohibit cars. This is not only good for the environment, it dissuades any one relatively young , from invading the place. 3: Many islands' waters are choppy and inhospitable, suc...
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Funny story: The case of Peter Piper's missing peck of pickled peppers

The case of Peter Piper's missing peck of pickled peppers

My name is Joey Diamond and I'm a private investigator. Yesterday, I was sitting in my office, basicly twittling my thumbs, when two strange looking dudes walked in and introduced themselves. "I'm Wee Willie Winkie. I run through the town. Upstairs and downstairs in my nightgown. Rapping at the windows, crying through the lock. Are the children now in bed? For now it's eight o'clock." "...
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Funny story: "Terror Tales will Come True" Blockbuster on the Way

"Terror Tales will Come True" Blockbuster on the Way

Hot on President Obama's blessing to release the new Bond Movie SPECTRE and his endorsement of the anti-North Korean film "The Interview", Hollywood is soon to release a new movie called, "Terror Tales will Come True". The film will be a One Bare Leg production under the Warner Bros label in conjunction with Rockefeller Enterprises, Happy Films, Pike Inc, Con-Artists Media Corp, Two-Thumbs-Up-...
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Funny story: Small talk - a poem

Small talk - a poem

I'm just no good at small talk Narrow and bijou Microscopic and minute Sorry, what do you do? Dinky winky, little, dwarf Incy wincy, klein Matchbox, kneehigh and compact Can I top up your wine? Teensy weensy, minimal Teeny weeny, wee Itsy bitsy, miniscule Would you like a cup of tea? Baby, mini, miniature Shrunken, titchy, speck Narrow, nipper, iota, mite Get naked? What the h...
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Funny story: ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men......And Women

ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men......And Women

ISIS - The Answer To The Future You've Always Wanted! (This is the real ISIS, the one that kills anyone and anything it wants, not one of those wimpy organizations with that stupid Egyptian symbol of a guy with a jackals head, the image of which, by the way, is outlawed by our sect.) Are you f___ed up? REALLY f___ed up? Do you dream of a life like the heroic characters you play for 5 h...
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Funny story: What to do with Christmas Leftovers, 3 Key Items

What to do with Christmas Leftovers, 3 Key Items

1. Freeze Turkey Giblets , then promote as genuine WW1 Christmas Truce Football Match Interval Edwardian 'Comfits' or 'Fancies'. 2. Mix up any old rubbish lurking in your fridge , with some Fruits Rouges ( or tinned Raspberries) and label it: 'French and/or Italian Rustic Preserve.'..then decant into any glass pot, stick a label in French or Italian onto it....money for old rope, but make sure...
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Showing page 1 (of 434 pages)

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