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Funny story: Trump's Stylist Tells ALL

Trump's Stylist Tells ALL

The secret to never having a bad hair day has been revealed by "The Donald" Trump's stylist. New York based Stylist Marki Knowflrsure from the world renown Dieher Straight salon has been styling the Trump family hair since they were all just millionaires. We were able to sit down and discuss the hairstyles of the affluent real estate mogul's wives and children between a Don King perm and B...
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Funny story: Designer Celebrity Dogs

Designer Celebrity Dogs

A big trend in the celebra-sphere is the slew of personality driven periodicals that allow fans to emulate their idols life styles and sample shilled products. We all have seen at the newsstand or on-line, the magazines pitching the likes of Oprah and Rachel Ray. But there are also lesser known celeb persona rags out there such as: Castro Family Magazine (Fidel Picks His All Defecto...
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Funny story: Interview with Two of the Century's Greatest 'Artists'

Interview with Two of the Century's Greatest 'Artists'

Jeff Koons and Damien Hirst, two of the most expensive artists living today, joined forces for an exhibition of Koons' work at Hirst's Newport Street Gallery in London. Titled "Now," the exhibition displays over 30 pieces of art by the American artist, all of which were borrowed from Hirst's personal collection. Critics are all in a tizzy over the event. We sent our cultural editor from "U-R-FK...
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Funny story: The Blanny Awards

The Blanny Awards

Welcome to the Blanny Awards! The award ceremony celebrating the year's best films. Lets begin! Best Fart Scene in a Movie The winner of this award is.... Leonardo DiCaprio for his scene in 'The Revenant'. Best Kiss Scene in a Movie This award goes to...... Chuck Norris for his work in the film 'Chuck Norris Kisses a Donkey', which won numerous Oscars! Only Chuck could make it work. Bes...
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Funny story: An urban fable: It's all in the name

An urban fable: It's all in the name

Damien Dread had a weird name but he was kind of proud of it. You could say he "grew" into the name over the years. As a little kid in elementary school, Damien Dread was teased unceasingly about his surname. Some wiseguy by the name of Tommy Truesgood looked up the word "dread" on an online dictionary from his cell phone and discovered that "dread" meant to "anticipate with great apprehension or...
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Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...
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Funny story: The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe

The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe

The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe. The theory that has rattled scientists and left a big hole in my sandwich. The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe states that if one was to combine Walker, Texas Ranger and the Delta Force, a quantum hole in time in space will appear, and Chuck Norris will suddenly wage a war against Mankind. Sounds scary doesn't it. This theory surfa...
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Funny story: Trump's Publicist Gives Interview

Trump's Publicist Gives Interview

Naldrett News Magazine was surprised to get a call from John Miller, Trump's publicist who sounds exactly like Donald Trump. The reason the magazine was so surprised is that they cover Spit Island and vicinity. Spit Island is one of the smallest of the Hawaiian Islands and when John Miller was asked why he had singled out this news magazine, Miller responded that we were in the only time zone that...
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Funny story: President Obama's Rutgers Speech: Let's Make Our Country One Giant Shit House

President Obama's Rutgers Speech: Let's Make Our Country One Giant Shit House

BILLINGSGATE POST: Hello Rutgers Class of 2016. Today you join a long line of Scarlet Knights who are waiting patiently to use the restroom of your choice. When you came here four years ago, the last thing you envisioned is that today, you would still be waiting in the same line. During that time, many of you have changed your sexual designation more than once. (Waiting for TelePrompter...
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Funny story: Giddy Up You Old Fool

Giddy Up You Old Fool

I've ridden the wicked draw that runs from shytown to the edge of the heinous herd that abomination of unspeakables which propagates fear in the dreams of the unweary in the center of that heinous herd you will find the apocalypse sitting smug, wrapped in oil skins on a heap of 2 day old horned imp skulls Giddy up you old fool The heinous herd was an abomination that even all of hell reject...
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Funny story: The Transcendental Gambling Cult

The Transcendental Gambling Cult

Investors on Wall Street are turning in droves to a new cult that is sweeping America. Spokesman for Scientology Tom Cruise has said it should be banned outright. Officials of the Sri Swami Winner's cult called "Scientific Amerology" deny that it is a cult. They say it is a "natural philosophy" of the New Age that was incubated during the the 1960s Flower Power Movement in Los Angeles and has...
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Funny story: Flagellation Is Silly, Makes Your Heart Go Willy Nilly, Billy Billy: Chapter III

Flagellation Is Silly, Makes Your Heart Go Willy Nilly, Billy Billy: Chapter III

BILLINGSGATE POST: In Chapter II, The Whip Woman is left waiting for the Dog Whisperer (D. Dubya) to coax little Bubba from under the desk in the Oval Office. Excerpt from Chapter III: "D. Dubya slid out of the back seat of his elongated Dachshund shaped limo with a shit-eating-grin on his face. Wondering what to expect in the Oval Office, he hitched up his pants, gently smitten with the pre...
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Funny story: "A Day In The Life" (of a Libertarian)

"A Day In The Life" (of a Libertarian)

He read Ayn Rand today oh boy About a selfish prick who made the grade And though the man was rather sad Well I just had to laugh He sounded halfway daft He had a heart made out of stone He didn't care that some were hungry now A crowd of people stood and stared They'd seen his face before Nobody was really sure If he was spawned from hell's hot floor? I saw a film today oh boy Bas...
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Funny story: New Board Game called "BANKER" Sweeping the World

New Board Game called "BANKER" Sweeping the World

The object of the game is to fleece as many people as possible in the shortest possible time, build a dynasty and get to die in your bed before you are assassinated. Although you may be responsible for thousands if not millions of deaths you cannot personally kill anybody. If your dice throws run against you whereupon you must kill your adversary by your own hand you lose the game. "Lifetime Po...
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Funny story: Wikipedia Burns Books - Attack of the Wikipedia Police

Wikipedia Burns Books - Attack of the Wikipedia Police

You can hear them baying and howling. They want to rip to pieces anyone who dares to engage in "self-promotion." The Wikipedia police do not want an author to list his books anywhere. If they could burn the author at the stake, they would. The best they can do is strike the title of any book listed by its author. Lest we pretend innocence, let's say we have added a reference to one of our bo...
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Funny story: Pivot This!

Pivot This!

Washington, DC - - The idea of handing over the keys to the country to a citizen president is not the only historical nugget to be mined from the 2016 presidential elections. The participating pundits and political hacks involved also developed a new way to manipulate the electorate while minimizing their use of the truth. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the pivot. An, yes. You do recal...
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Funny story: Cracker Jack Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

Cracker Jack Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

At least not anymore. No more nice little junky prizes to look forward to in the Cracker Jack package. They are being replaced by -- hold onto your hats -- digital codes for mobile games! Can you believe it? I'm a big fan of digital stuff. But NOT in my Cracker Jack package where I'm looking for a junky little surprise to brighten my day NOW. Phooey, phooey, phooey. What is the world...
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Funny story: The Falsification of Consciousness

The Falsification of Consciousness

What does it mean? Means lying to your face. But more than that it means lying to a lot of people often enough until they assume the lie is truth. This is the modus operandi of the New World Order using all the powers of their media and political organs to do so. Brainwashing in a word. They have the Catholic Church and the Nazi sheeple programming strategies to tell them how it is done. Edward...
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Funny story: Trump: the Dart of the Eel

Trump: the Dart of the Eel

Donald Trump has always been a slippery character, and no more so than in his business dealings. In his book "The Dart of the Eel" he explains how to be as slippery as he is, as he gives advice to would-be entrepreneurial conmen. At the heart of Trump's philosophy are "The Rules", by which he lives his life, and by which he believes anyone can become as rich as he is. Rule number one is "hav...
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Funny story: I did it

I did it

By OJ Simpson I did it. It has been many years since the tragic events. And during this time, I have come to terms with my horrible deed. I know this confession will not change what I did. It will not hide the hideous motivation of my action. But, at the very least, I want you to know it was me. The crime was mine and mine alone. I drove to do what I did based on my own faults, my own mi...
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Funny story: Trump Supporters Burning Bright

Trump Supporters Burning Bright

With apologies to William Blake. Trump supporters burning bright, In the dark hearts of their night, What infernal hand or eye Could flame their fearful bigotry? By what vicious, twisted lies Burns the fire in their eyes? On what wings dare Trump aspire? What the hand that flames his fire? By what bluster and dark arts, Could twist the sinews of their hearts? And when Trump's hat...
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Funny story: BBC Training Manual Leaked

BBC Training Manual Leaked

A whistleblower has released an excerpt from a training manual used by the BBC to train 'News' broadcasters. Headed the "TEN KEY POINTS FOR ALL BROADCASTERS" it makes for disturbing reading. It reads as follows: 1: Never ever question what you, the newscaster, are expected to read. If you do, you question your employer, the BBC. And that can get you into trouble. Ask David Icke. Think of yourse...
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Showing page 1 (of 449 pages)

Breaking News...

Obama in Hiroshima

Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.

"Death fell from the sky.", said he.

Never rains but it pours, eh?
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