"2b or 1b? That is the question." - A drunk Hamlet, forgetting which apartment the after hour party is at.
"To Agree or not to agree? That is the question." - Always a question Hamlet ponders during heated political debates.
"To Bee or not to bee? That is the question." - A young hamlet, contemplating whether or not he will participate in a spelling contest.
"To Bee or not to bee? That is...
My name is Will Tayer. I am sure that by now you have been made aware of my status and the circumstances surrounding it. I have not been able to ascertain whether or not I have been classified in your files on the "naughty" or "nice" list. My guess is the latter.
If you have not been kept abreast of the situation, you can read it in the articles listed below. Keep in mi...
Well, I've been a bad, bad girl. ;)
I'm sure you already knew that though.
This year has been fantastically crazy for me. I did my twerk thing at the VMA's. I smoked Kush on stage in Europe. I swung on a wrecking ball stark naked in a video. I posed nearly nude for photo op after photo op. Oh, it has been a thrill.
I know I disappointed a few people, but what do they...
I know that this year has been a troubling year and I have been less than well behaved. With that being said, I am trying to do better.
This year, I am not asking for "stuff". I was wondering if you could "throw me a bone" just before Thanksgiving, a sort of early Christmas present if you will.
Is there any chance that you can put in a good word and get me a position as on...
Will Tayer, age 6 is at it again! He has organized several area first and second graders to march in front of his mothers home, chanting "One-Two-Three-Four. He won't stay behind that door!" referring to the young mans bedroom door.
These developments occurred upon the young man being recently grounded and told that he will stay in his room.
Wills mother Mrs. Tayer reports, "I told him he w...
The history behind pizza -
In 1492, just before Chris Columbo sailed the ocean blue, he visited Italy. He tried to make a flatbread pepperoni sandwich and noticed while sailing that wind and waves caused his flatbread to flop around in his hands and the pepperoni would fly off.
While in Italy Columbo purchased cheese and decided that might taste nice on his flatbread sandwich. He accidental...
1. Wii Fit "Twerk Showdown" game
2. Rob Ford's Rock 'Em Stalk 'Em Fembots
3. LEGO leftovers - discount lego sets!
4. Playstation Classic - Rollin' like it's '99
5. Rollin' Doobs Mountain Navigator Big Wheel
6. "Twerkin' for a Livin'" Barbie
7. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Ken and Ben Dolls
8. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Barbie and Betty Dolls
In an effort to continue the fight against childhood obesity, the first lady has teamed up with several legendary rap and hip hop artists to produce an album sending a strong message against obesity.
Insiders have stumbled across potential artists and tracks for the upcoming release. Here is a partial list of what the public may hear:
Snoop Dogg "Gin and Juice Smoothie"
Apple product development has been working to branch out on the marketing of their iphones, ipads, and laptops. They are trying to do this by reaching a wider spectrum of possible interest sets. Here are five more products that were in development but did not make the list . . .
1.iSoar - An iphone / remote control airplane
2.iSolated - solar powered iProduct
3.iForAnEye - Electronic eye...
1.iStoned - Mini bong with all of the iPhone features. Development is WAY delayed.
2.iSoscelesTriangle - Couldn't figure out the right marketing angle
3.iCan'tBelieveIt'sNotAniPhone - Product concept was too cryptic
4.iO.U.- Prepaid account. Apple decided against this marketing scheme
5.i'VeBeenWorkingOnTheRailroad - a railroad spike with ipad features.
6.Apple Jacks - a hydraulic...
A few company's have teamed up to participate in a collaborative advertising campaign. An advertising "Cage Match" billed ADV ANNHILATION SHOWDOWN will take place this spring.
Some of the "fighters" will include:
THE KOOL AID MAN - Slight advantage in size, but a little slow, and of course, there's that "glass jaw."
TONY THE TIGER - Predicted by several of the experts to be the winner,...
1. Wear a pair of vinyl boy shorts, stick some feathers in your ass - "Shakesgiving Twerky"
2. Stick a fork in your ass and say "I'm getting forked in the ass"
3. Keep all of your clothes on and go as an Unemployed Stripper.
4. Dress up as Julianne Hough dressed as "Crazy Eyes" from Orange Is the New Black ; When you're given grief for your decision, respond, "It's not racial. I'm dress...
In the end it's not your life that counts. It's the file in your ears.
- A. Bramm Linkend
Heirs used to inaccurate da-da's are munchless, then used to no da-da at all.
- Barles H. Cabbage
If I decide that you're an idiot I'll be hitting you with my accordion.
- Yo-Han "Say Bass-chin" Bock
We are shaved by our thoughts. We come. We think. Never mind, whisper. Joey...
Aman Bakhoff plays the role of a clown at local haunted house attraction, FEAR IN THE FABRIC STORE. The attraction is a new spin, if you will on an old theme. Bakhoff plays the role of a deranged clown.
"People just don't get it, homie. In a role like mine, you have to combine humor with the ability to induce fear, yo. That's what I do. dog. I have honed my craft now for seven seasons. Sho...
As 2014 approaches, it occurred to me recently that Spring of the upcoming year, marks the 20 year anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. Cobain was the lead singer of the legendary band Nirvana. After his death, he was referred to in several publications as "The voice of his generation." Well, I don't know about all that but I do know . . .
10 Reasons Why Generation X 'ers Realize They May Be...
TRENTON, N.J. - Reverend Homer Phobe, of New Jersey is the leader of a new movement that calls themselves the "Federal League Against Gays With Agendas Violating Everyone's Reasonable Standards" or "F.L.A.G. W.A.V.E.R.S" for short.
After a recent ruling that the state of New Jersey begin issuing same-sex marriage licenses this month, the Reverend Homer Phobe and his followers are rallying peopl...
Well, In my previous editorial I "tackled" the topic of the elementary school in Michigan banning "tag" and other "chase-oriented" games.
Now I have run across a recent article that addresses another "chase-oriented" game, one of America's favorite fall high school pastimes, football. In this case, however it's not the game itself that is being banned. It's a postgame tradition that is being...
Normally, I try to just stick to writing satire. I saw this story online and couldn't make anything up after reading it, other than my own reaction. The story vexed me so much it stifled my creativity, so here's what came of it.
I recently ran across an article with the headline Elementary school outlaws playing tag, 'running in packs'
The gist of the story was that some kindergarten teach...
A man has spent nearly an entire year seeking financial reparations for undue stress, financial woe, and emotional damages related to life on earth continuing to exist.
"I don't know exactly who or what group of person's specifically I have to go after, but these Mayan's owe me an explanation!" states Noah Oanaship.
Apparently Mr. Oanaship had spent the year prior to the alleged prophecy d...
"It like, bums me out, ya know," stated James Sadzack, self proclaimed "Emo Kid For Life."
"We used to get talked about ALL the time. People used to make fun of us every day. Now it's like nobody cares."
"Nobody cared to begin with," a passerby interjected during the interview.
"Shut up conformist!" Sadzack exclaimed.
"See what I mean? When it comes to teenage stereotypes, we used...
Will Tayer, age 6, first grade, was most assuredly disgruntled after being grounded by his mother Monica Tayer on a Friday afternoon.
"He was playing with my makeup. He spilled fingernail polish all over the sofa. He's been told multiple times to stay out of mommy's makeup cabinet. He is grounded to staying within the front yard. The boundary is the front sidewealk," stated Mrs. Tayer in an...