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Funny story: Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

It's the festive season again, and who could fail to be excited by the never-ending stream of Christmas songs blaring from shops, radios and people's throats. Christmas music is Britain's favourite music genre, and every year millions of us buy copies of our favourite Christmas songs so that we can listen to them all year long. Here we provide a countdown of the 5 best Christmas songs. 5.
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Funny story: The 5 Best Computer Games of the 80s

The 5 Best Computer Games of the 80s

In the early 1980s, computers were larger than TV sets and had less power than today's mobile phones, but they provided a unique new form of entertainment to a select group of lucky nerds. By the end of the decade, it was a multi-thousand pound industry which was beginning to mushroom into the video game entertainment juggernaut which sucks the life from so many souls daily today. We take a nostal...
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Funny story: Today's wine review: wine

Today's wine review: wine

Hello, I'm Felicity Munt, your well-lubricated and perspicacious wine reviewer. I have a great selection of wines for every occasion to review for you. So let's get started, shall we? Have you ever been out shopping for wine and felt that the experience left you wanting for wine? Well now with Bishop's Crevice Merlot, you have the perfect blend of autumnal fruits with a hint of nauseous oak whi...
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Funny story: Great War Sausages

Great War Sausages

Throughout the history of war, the role of sausages has been underestimated. Famous ancient Chinese war strategist Sun Tzu said, "The sausage is for eating, not for fighting." But history has proved him wrong - from the Battle of Saveloy to Butcher Cumberland's dreaded Sausage Brigade, the humble banger has shown its military worth time and again. Sausages played a vital in the British army dur...
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Funny story: Channel 6 tonight

Channel 6 tonight

Here is the TV schedule for Channel 6 this evening. 4.00. Lesbian Racing From Ascot. 6.00. Jurassic Countdown Can the contestants solve the conundrum before a T-Rex devours Rachel Riley? 6.30. Come Dine With ME The four chronic fatigue sufferers try to have dinner together. Who will fall asleep first? 7.00. The Best Videos From the Internet Chris Moyles introduces a series of hilar...
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Funny story: New words of 2014

New words of 2014

The latest edition of the Dorking Standard English Dictionary was released to the shops this week. Publishers were celebrating after the number of words increased 3% on last year to reach a record 800,000. It means that the English language has completed its recovery since the great word crash of 2002 when many words were lost. Here are a selection of the new words which have made it into the d...
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Funny story: Barry Budget's amazing lifestyle tips

Barry Budget's amazing lifestyle tips

Here's some great tips to help you get the best out of life when running on a limited budget. 1. Don't holiday abroad. Book a caravan in your local caravan park, and come home to cook meals cheaply. 2. Take a six-pack of supermarket brand beer into the pub with you, and buy only one beer in the pub. Then instead of ordering more drinks, just top up your own from the can. You'll save a fortun...
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Funny story: World War One's Greatest Weapon

World War One's Greatest Weapon

World War One was a conflict. It featured some of the greatest weapons ever invented, including the first usage of the aeroplane, the tank and the machine gun in a major war. However, there is one weapon that was used during WW1 which has been largely overlooked, but which probably affected the outcome more than any other. It is of course, the inflatable toilet catapult. Inflatable toilets w...
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Funny story: Fred Jakes' World War One poetry to be celebrated

Fred Jakes' World War One poetry to be celebrated

Perhaps the most famous of the poets of World War One, Fred Jakes, is to be celebrated in a special service in the Somme this weekend. Jakes died there just seconds after the 1918 ceasefire which signalled the end of the war, from a bullet wound he had sustained a few minutes earlier. Jakes was a serving private in the trenches of the Western Front, where he wrote many of his best poems. Many o...
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Funny story: 50 Amazing Facts

50 Amazing Facts

Here are 50 amazing facts for you to wow yourself and your friends with. But there's a twist! One of the facts is not true. See if you can spot which one. - The ostrich is the only animal which is allowed to drive in Australia. - Queen Elizabeth II has two anuses. - The largest city in Britain without an aquarium is Bath. - Henry Guillotine was killed by his own famous invention which bears...
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Funny story: The life of a pound coin

The life of a pound coin

In the week when the British economy returns to pre-crisis levels, we take a look at the life of a pound coin during a single week, in an attempt to explain why the British economy manages to be so dynamic. Our coin's tale begins with George Osbourne, as he spends our taxes to buy a Revolting Peasants cocktail at Jolly Cedric's Wank-Bar For Toffs. 20% of the cost goes to the taxman, so at the p...
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Funny story: Celebrities choose their World Cup XIs

Celebrities choose their World Cup XIs

Because it's the World Cup Final this weekend, we asked a number of celebrities to tell us who their top World Cup XI would be if they could choose anyone or anything to be on the team. We then imagined what would happen if they actually played each other. Reverend Timothy Pulpit selected a diverse group of objects. In the midfield he had church and gay marriage; on the left wing, Jesus, and on...
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Funny story: World Cup Live Commentary

World Cup Live Commentary

During the World Cup Finals, we've seen a lot of good matches, but none have been more exciting than Japan vs Greece. Here we are with live commentary from Barry Testes and Gary Ovum. Barry: Whether you like the Japanese game or you prefer it Greek style, we've got plenty on show for you tonight. You join us for the second half kick-off, the game currently standing at an exhilarating 0-0. And i...
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Funny story: The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

To celebrate the World Cup in Brazil, we take a look back at some of the all time greats of football. Those players who have stood out from the crowd and made a real impact on the game. Here are TheSpoof's five best World Cup footballers of all time. 5. "Wee Eck" McSmith The diminutive Scottish centre forward was considered the best footballer in the world back in 1974, in the days when Scotla...
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Funny story: Want to earn $$$$ and travel the world?

Want to earn $$$$ and travel the world?

Have you ever thought about leaving your boring job and travelling the world? Ever considered becoming a professional globe-trotting writer? Well now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, millions of people are escaping the drudgery of the rat race and becoming a writer. It doesn't matter what kind of writing you want to do - travel writing, spoof journalism, or even hardcore pornography writ...
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Funny story: New York Musician dies

New York Musician dies

This week, unique and influential musician Art Johnson has died outside his home in New York at the age of 53. The circumstances surrounding his death are still unclear, but it appears that he choked to death on a parking ticket which he refused to pay. He was eating it in protest when he met his tragic end. Johnson was always wary of authority. He first came to prominence in the music bars of...
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Funny story: The First World War reenacted - with taxidermy

The First World War reenacted - with taxidermy

This year marks the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War. It is a solemn occasion to remember a dark chapter in human history, which led to the deaths of 20 million people, over half of them civilians. To commemorate the event, Dorking's premier taxidermist Robin Stuffing has created a life-size replica of the trenches of the Western Front. The roles of soldiers and officer...
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Funny story: 50 things you must do in Britain before you die

50 things you must do in Britain before you die

Travel agency GetMeTheF***OutOfHere has compiled a list of the fifty things that every British person should do before he or she dies. The list is intended to increase tourism to the UK as well as boosting some of our best known exports. It includes many experiences which British people will commonly do at some time in their life. Foreigners and tourists may wonder about some of the items, but...
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Funny story: The Shakin' Stevens Phenomenon

The Shakin' Stevens Phenomenon

It seems that you can't walk five paces down the street in 2014 without seeing yet another Shakin' Stevens impersonator. In pubs, clubs and even jailhouses throughout the UK, people regularly hold events to dress up as and celebrate the hip-shaking denim-wearing crooner, and to many he truly is "The King of Rock and Roll". So how did Shakin' Stevens become the wonder of the UK? Superfan Stephen...
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Funny story: Winter Olympics roundup

Winter Olympics roundup

Hi! My name's Tad Poleman and here is my official roundup of the Winter Olympics here in Sushi, Russia. We're now halfway through the Olympic Games, and it's been so exciting I haven't even written an article about it yet. So here is a summary of what's happened so far. Who can forget Geoff Chafe winning Britain's one and only medal in the nude luge? Amazingly he beat his nearest opponent the G...
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Funny story: Tarts of the Somme

Tarts of the Somme

Ever since the dull Wilfred Owen wrote his famous poem, "Prossies lose decorum if", there has been a fascination with the ladies of the night who frequented the trenches of the Western Front during World War One. They struggled with great hardship in sticky times. The Front was harsh, lonely and felt like the very bottom of the world. Most poor soldiers were therefore very pleased to have a lad...
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Funny story: Why Britain Hates The Winter Olympics

Why Britain Hates The Winter Olympics

On the 7th of February, President Vladimir Putin of Russia will insert a flaming 12-inch torch into a fur-lined brown ring in Sochi, causing a shower of snowy liquid to shoot over the expectant crowd and thereby bringing to a start the Winter Olympics of 2014. It is sure to be a gay old time for all involved, but how did we get here? Where did it all begin? The answer, perhaps unsurprisingly, i...
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