Showing articles written by Backandtotheleft.

Show all articles

Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)
Funny story: Why The BBC Are Having Trouble Recruiting DJ's

Why The BBC Are Having Trouble Recruiting DJ's

We at Back and to the Left news are so connected with youth culture we feel like we are almost inside young people. It's a closeness that you would expect from a lover or a Dr who specialises in looking at genitals. Hang on can we start again? After hearing the news that BBC Radio One was struggling to find new DJ's we tried to get an interview with the head of the station. Unfortunately he'd s...
View 'Why The BBC Are Having Trouble Recruiting DJ's'
Funny story: Ten Facts About Kate Middleton

Ten Facts About Kate Middleton

As a country (I mean the UK, you know a proper country) we have a tendency to fawn over people who wear incredibly expensive jewellery, live in palaces and expect the tax payer to foot the bill when their roof has a leak. So to play to the gallery as it were here are seven facts you didn't know about our future Queen Kate Middleton. 1. As part of the Royal Family she has several other titles in...
View 'Ten Facts About Kate Middleton'
Funny story: Arsenal's Missed Targets

Arsenal's Missed Targets

With the news that long term arsenal target Julian Draxler has joined PSG on a four year contract we at BATTL news decided to pre-empt all the news and sport websites. We are great believers in the hyperbole and complete shrieking nonsense around football being the thing that has destroyed the game. Not the endless streams of money (nobody says a word about baseball contracts, formula one drivers...
View 'Arsenal's Missed Targets'
Funny story: Sepp's Main Aim

Sepp's Main Aim

With the re-election of Sepp Blatter as head of the mafia Back and to the Left news travelled to Switzerland to visit the man himself. After passing more security than a secret research facility we were taken to a giant pool room. Half naked beauties bathed in a pool of champagne and frolicked under waterfalls of gold flecked water. We would have given them a wave but that would be a breach of...
View 'Sepp's Main Aim'
Funny story: The Election Part Two

The Election Part Two

Part two of our look at the candidates in the upcoming election has us conducting a interview round the back of the houses of Parliament. Inside a large bin where the Lib Dems have their campaign headquarters and we were ushered inside by a blind man being led by another blind man. Nick Clegg was seated on stool made of the last elections manifesto, it looked hollow. He seemed pleased to see us...
View 'The Election Part Two'
Funny story: The Election: Part One

The Election: Part One

The election is coming! Please don't misread the second word and call the police on us. This is our first in a number of interviews with leading political figures in the run up to the already predetermined election in May. We spoke to king weirdo himself. Ed Miliband. We met Ed in a windowless room as the idea of seeing clouds seemed to distress him to the point where he would rock back and for...
View 'The Election: Part One'
Funny story: Real Pain In Real Estate

Real Pain In Real Estate

In an outpouring of love for the common man David Cameron has promised to "double the number of cut price starter homes". Back and to the Left news met up with the man behind Cameron's plan on a train heading to Glasgow. We had boarded the train in Hull and had already got to York and slipped onto the Scotland bound train without paying for a ticket. So far so good. What? We looked at the...
View 'Real Pain In Real Estate'
Funny story: British Gas Price War

British Gas Price War

Like most of your houses the Back and to the Left offices are freezing cold. With no windows and gas prices higher than our defence lawyer on day two of our fraud trial, it's a recipe for disaster or hypothermia whichever one claims us first. But help is on the way after British Gas said they would be cutting their prices by 5% and it is hoped that the other companies will follow suit. We spoke...
View 'British Gas Price War'
Funny story: Bring Back The Guillotine

Bring Back The Guillotine

This countries a mess. There we said it. But it's not our opinion, but the opinion of the man on the street. The white van mad man, the market trader and the pub landlord all agree. But why is it a mess and what are the solutions, we don't know, shit we cant remember where we let the dog off it's lead last. That dam terrier could be anywhere. Anyway we grabbed a bunch of people off the street (...
View 'Bring Back The Guillotine'
Funny story: Rocky 6, 7, 8, 9 And Beyond

Rocky 6, 7, 8, 9 And Beyond

With the news that Sylvester Stallone is going to have a another round of Botox and release another Rocky Film, BATTL news got all excited and raided the superstars bin to find more information. After twenty minutes of throwing rubbish all over his driveway we came across a bundle of first draft scripts for his upcoming movies. Here are the best. Rocky Doggy: Ex-Heavyweight champion Rocky Bal...
View 'Rocky 6, 7, 8, 9 And Beyond'
Funny story: Twitter Punishes The Blind

Twitter Punishes The Blind

We at Back and to the Left news have decided to do what most news outlets do and take anything any celebrity says at 100% face value. So when Ben Affleck mounted the pavement with his Ford Transit van and started bellowing that "Twitter punishes the blind" we thought we'd better get his viewpoint. Unfortunately we had to go to the county jail he was been held in to conduct the interview. The first...
View 'Twitter Punishes The Blind'
Funny story: Britain For The Brits!

Britain For The Brits!

We at Back and to the Left news pride ourselves on giving everyone a voice, including those of us who don't deserve one. We try to be as fair as we can be when it comes down to our interviews and subsequent write ups. So when we decided to interview a member of the group Britain First our peers (the other people in the hostel we currently call home) we're shocked. They asked us "why would you give...
View 'Britain For The Brits!'
Funny story: FIFA 15 A Review

FIFA 15 A Review

We stole a copy of the new FIFA 15 game because we heard it was so amazing. We then had to steal a wide screen TV a PS4 and break into a hotel room so we could play the dam thing and give you this glittering review. For those of you who don't know what a "FIFA 15" is it's the game developed by a group of above the law tie wearing muppets who have destroyed the global game. However hats off to...
View 'FIFA 15 A Review'
Funny story: Bang To Animal Rights

Bang To Animal Rights

In an effort to impress the animal rights campaigner who has moved in at the end of our street BATTL news has decided to pursue an animal rights story that has shocked us. The daily newspaper "The Sun" (it should be called "The Paper That Thinks It's Alright To Kill Small Insects") has instigated a new hateful competition in which it hires celebrities to attempt killing a fly using a variety of ob...
View 'Bang To Animal Rights'
Funny story: Becks - A Review

Becks - A Review

After been told repeatedly by various editors/people in the street to "report on important things" and "why don't you get an actual job" we decided to knuckle down and do some real reporting. By that we meant we bought some Becks and reviewed the shit out of what is a great smooth beverage. In the hope that Mr Becks will see this humble review/tribute and pay us handsomely for it, we have sent...
View 'Becks - A Review'
Funny story: Kerry Katona's a bit of a Moaner

Kerry Katona's a bit of a Moaner

Kerry Katona will marry for the third time and has once again hawked her "Special(ish it is the third time) Day" around to as many magazines as she can. Unfortunately for her nobody was stupid enough to pay to see a sham marriage that will last less time than a Gaza ceasefire. Nobody except us. Back and to the Left news bid sixteen pence and a packet of cigarette papers for the honour of interv...
View 'Kerry Katona's a bit of a Moaner'
Funny story: Lana Del What?

Lana Del What?

Lana Del Ray (no, we don't know who she is either) has sensationally admitted to sleeping her way around the music industry. The singer (?) said: "I have slept a lot of guys in the industry but none of them helped me get my record deals." Learning of this amazing news BATTL news hastily arranged a interview with her to find out the truth behind the statement. We also took a guitar along...
View 'Lana Del What?'
Funny story: Kanye Komplains

Kanye Komplains

After Kanye West was overheard complaining that the toilet paper on the Eurostar train was "too scratchy" for his arse, we tracked him down to find out how much of a bell end he really is. He was carried in on the backs of sixteen golden retrievers while church music was played at an ear splitting volume. A large silver hand descended from the sky (we had been ordered to remove our roof for the...
View 'Kanye Komplains'
Funny story: Champions Of Mumsnet

Champions Of Mumsnet

Back and to the Left news revel in our roles as champions of the people so when we heard about mum of two, Sam Ross, not being allowed into the cinema with her 11 week old daughter we hit the roof! Then we rubbed our heads and decided that getting a house we could stand up in had to be the aim for the year. We met Sam in a park in her home town of Cambridge. Hi Sam and we see you've brought li...
View 'Champions Of Mumsnet'
Funny story: Bath - Debt Capital of the UK

Bath - Debt Capital of the UK

As a group that likes to bring you the most important of issues affecting the UK on a day to day basis, (or whenever we leave the bar long enough to find a lap top and write a story) we're always on the lookout for new cautionary tales. Debt is something that affects us all from student loans (that we have no intention of paying back) to loan shark cash that will eventually result in us losing...
View 'Bath - Debt Capital of the UK'
Funny story: How Does Depression Affect You?

How Does Depression Affect You?

Depression runs freely around our great country like the clap around a university campus. 1/3 people will suffer from a mental health issue at some point in their life also 1/3 of us will be affected by cancer. Let's hope it's not the same people or that'll mean 2/6 (if our fractions are correct) of us will be depressed and have a family member suffering from cancer. That would be unlucky. Today w...
View 'How Does Depression Affect You?'
Funny story: Cowell's Comeback Plan

Cowell's Comeback Plan

It has been well documented that Back and to the Left news has a special relationship with X-Factor creator and eventual dark overlord of space and time, Simon Cowell. Rumours have abounded about the internet that it was in fact a donation of sperm from our reporters that finally gave Simon what he had always wanted. A successor to his throne. We wont commentate on this vicious speculation, no...
View 'Cowell's Comeback Plan'

Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)

Breaking News...

Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary

After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

4 15 24 16
36 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more