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Funny story: "Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

"Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

Ari Alterman has added yet another blockbuster movie to his long string of successes in a career spanning twenty-five years. "Well Connected" that has a strong magical theme has a sterling cast with Clint Eastwood taking a small role with Beyonce. It is produced by Ari Alterman, directed by Lilith Alterman and sees the acting debut of Judith Alterman. The script was written by son Zac under...
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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
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Funny story: The Greatest Action Movie Ever.

The Greatest Action Movie Ever.

The film is about a young world middleweight boxing champion Lance O'Flynn who is also a black belt in Karate and who gets conscripted by MI6 to be trained as a special agent. He shows himself a willing pupil and quickly masters seven languages plus quantum physics. His handsome Irish good looks and natural intelligence, as well as his ability to read the Kama Sutra in Urdu, make him a wow wit...
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Funny story: The Virtue Agency - Manhattan

The Virtue Agency - Manhattan

THE VIRTUE AGENCY (Derived from the book "Travels with Li Po"...copyrighted) A new agency has opened up in Manhattan, New York. Called THE VIRTUE AGENCY.. it deals with... yes, you guessed it... the marketing of virtue. Our reporter from "Lights Out", visited the towering skyscraper that is the agency's new home. It has a workforce of over a hundred and has plans for offices throughout the...
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Funny story: Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind.

There has been a tidal wave of reaction from around the world to renowned physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking's statement that "the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race." Here are some of the responses: President Barack Obama: "I am surprised at Prof. Hawkings; the statement is most illogical." US Politico Sarah Palin: "They will have to learn to...
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Funny story: Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!

Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!

Following the murder of a soldier in Ottawa by a crazed 'Muslim' convert Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, bookies in the UK are offering odds as to what country will be next. The assailant claimed apparently that he had been "chased by the devil" leading to speculation of how he got the idea and where exactly it came from. And did the devil speak with an hypnotic American or British accent? Whether wired to...
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Funny story: Open Letter to GOD

Open Letter to GOD

Dea GOD, I know (LOL) I may have got you at a bad time.... but I must ask you, YOUR DIVINITY, if you don't mind. (1) Why do you not destroy the few bankers and their diabolical debt game so that we humans can allow ourselves and our children to enjoy life as you intended? We can accept that evil to a certain degree may be necessary to run Your Universe much of it given to so few...
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Funny story: Shakespeare's Last Letter

Shakespeare's Last Letter

THE FOLLOWING LETTER, LATELY DISCOVERED, WAS WRITTEN BY SHAKESPEARE TO HIS MISTRESS JULIET HADHERWAY. Dear Juliet, It is never easy to part, such sweet sorrow, but I shall remember you fondly. To your father Shylock I tender my regards. Our nuptial vows were a tabernacle of veneration to me that I never strayed far from but when I learnt that you had an affair in Italy...
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Funny story: Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

1. You think 'your' thoughts are worse than anybody else's. You have not thought about where 'your' thoughts have come from. 2. You are scared the people you respect and who respect you may find out and abandon you. 3. Killing people is okay, you believe, and your favourite movies are all about heroes and the relentless murder they bring. 4. You think sex is love because that is what they...
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Funny story: Ten Signs to tell you may be "Over the Hill"

Ten Signs to tell you may be "Over the Hill"

(1) You pick up speed. You find yourself singing "Where have all the flowers gone?" at taxi ramps. Or, "When I was twenty-one it was a very good year...." . People hide their children and move away from you because they think you have Ebola. (2) Girls don't find you attractive any more. They call you "an interesting man" but only to strangers who wonder how you can walk unaided, the way an astr...
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Funny story: Ten signs to tell she is cheating on you

Ten signs to tell she is cheating on you

If you spot one of the following signs you need to have a long talk with your partner. If you spot more than two you should pack your things immediately and take a long holiday. If you spot all ten, and are still alive and living with your partner, you should seek urgent, psychiatric help. 1."Shouts of "Stop it! Stop it!" coming from your bedroom. And when you open the door you find her reading...
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Funny story: The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time

The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time

THE TOP TEN BEST SELLING SINGLES OF ALL TIME ARE AS FOLLOWS: 1. If you leave me, I will kill myself. 2. If you don't leave me, I will kill myself. 3. I can't live without you. Until I get over it. 4. I would want to kill you if you ever left me but, as I am such a nice guy, I must spare you. 5. The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the Sun rose in your eyes. Now that you've...
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Funny story: Terror at Heathrow Airport

Terror at Heathrow Airport

American insurance salesman James Henry Galbraith thought it was just another tedious return home from the three-week business conference he had attended in London. It wasn't. A Heathrow customs official found a bottle of whiskey in his holdall. "I'm sorry Sir but I have to confiscate this." "Aw... come on buddy. Gimme a break! I always take a bottle home to the wife." "Excuse me." The officia...
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Funny story: Satan and Hollywood

Satan and Hollywood

Satan Conference in Hollywood. On this occasion, The Prince of Darkness used actor Christopher Walken as his channel. After a little dance routine, to the immense amusement of the packed audience, Mr. Walken took up position on his golden throne centre-stage looking resplendent in a tux, and fingering a gold-topped malacca. He mopped his sweating forehead with a red, silk hankie before beginnin...
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Funny story: This Week's Top 20 Movies

This Week's Top 20 Movies

This Weeks Top 20 Hollywood Movies. 1. It's Okay to Murder Dark People. 2. Killing the Innocent is Fun. 3. How to Kill a Thousand People Before You Get The Bad Guy. 4. Teenage Terrorist Nympho on Speed. 5. Terror And Sex Part 12. 6. Terror Stalks The White House at Night. 7. A Blonde Swedish Terrorist with Big Tits in New York... at Night. 8. The Tibetan Monk Terrorist. 9. War on Terriers...
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Funny story: This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

THIS WEEK'S BEST SELLING RECORDS. Top 20 1. Now I Must Die. Help me... Please! Please! Please! 2. Tomorrow I Must die. Or... the day after. 3 Stop Hurting me. Please... Please... before I kill you. 4. Without You, what is the use of Living? 5. If You Go Away I will die from dope or alcohol, just to Please you. 6. I Can't Live with or Without you. I am a Freemason. 7. If you go Away, so mu...
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Funny story: Guru Merde Wilson

Guru Merde Wilson

The following story is indebted to Anthony de Mello. "Merde" (real name Jean) Wilson was a knock-kneed youth with freckles that never left him until the day he died. He had red hair and crooked teeth and, despite his six feet in stature, never lost his slim build. His eyesight was none too good either; he wore thick glasses all his life. The boy's parents both died when their car spun off...
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Funny story: Henry Kissinger on "Depopulation"

Henry Kissinger on "Depopulation"

We met Dr. Henry Kissinger during a brief visit to Washington's Grand Masonic Lodge where he was guest of honour recently for his sterling work on behalf of the New World Order. We asked him some searching questions: "Is it true that you were a Soviet Spy?" He laughed: "No, of course not. The rumour came about because I was giving military secrets to the Soviet Union." "How do you loo...
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Funny story: The Pestilential Carriers of the New World Order

The Pestilential Carriers of the New World Order

A Badminton Club's committee in Clapham South London is outraged at its possible political connections. Lately, against stern opposition from "myriad sources", said its chairman Alex Batwood, "we decided to form a new committee. After all, none of us knew who these people were. They just appeared out of nowhere." Set up earlier this year by The Young Group it seemingly had no idea of its paren...
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Funny story: SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

A new computer program called "SIMILAR2" has been devised by a leading publishing agency in London. Arnold Galbraith, the inventor, and rumoured to be a 33rd Degree Freemason whose father was allegedly a Jesuit priest in charge of Vatican Publicity, told our "Nabbed" reporter: "We developed SIMILAR2 for our own writers. Basically, all writing is a matter of ideas, so we figured to help people...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Declares His Innocence

Prince Charles Declares His Innocence

"The Queen's 2013 Ascot Gold Cup heroine Estimate has tested positive for the banned substance morphine, Buckingham Palace has announced." (News broadcast July/22/2014). An Interview with Prince Charles, courtesy of the popular investigative magazine "Nabbed". Prince Charles seated in the Windsor reading room beneath a large painting of an Arabian horse by Freemason George Stubbs seemed qui...
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Funny story: Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Paddy O'Flynn had had enough it seems. He had decided to apply to his local housing authority for help with his rent having vacated his old house and moved into a rented apartment in Clapham Common, South London. That is where his troubles began. His wife Caitlin takes up the story. "They sent him a form to fill in. It was thick as the London Times. For three months he tried to figure it o...
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Breaking News...

Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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